- 6 years ago
So having a bad time with my girlfriend and need some fresh eyes on this. I can’t ask my friends as they will have my back and I can’t ask her friends as they will take her side. Anyways, here is a quick rundown of the facts. I am unmarried with no kids. Never married, divorced, or engaged. She is divorced twice with two kids. She is, honestly, the love of my life. I knew it since middle school (I’m now 30), she didn’t consider me more than a friend until very recently. We entered into the relationship under the understanding that she didn’t want to get married and didnt want to have more kids. I want both, but I want her more than either so I was Ok with that. Ever the optimist though, I bought her an unbelievably gorgeous ring. I didn’t anticipate ever being able to propose, but wanted to be prepared if the situation ever changed (it was a ring she had pointed out and tried on as a lark during a stroll through the mall). Anyways, at this time we were living about 2 hours away from each other and I left the ring out while I was at work. She surprised me by coming into town without letting me know and found the ring. At first she was surprised and taken aback that I had bought it. It wasn’t a problem for a long time. Now it’s a problem. and here’s that problem…
She flat out tells me that she will not marry me. I’m OK with that. I want to marry her, but I entered into the relationship knowing full well that the chances were slim to none. I want to be with her and that’s the top of my priority list. However, she feels the relationship is in a stand still because I won’t propose to her and give her that ring. I’ve told her, several times now, that I will not propose to her or give her an engagement ring knowing full well that she does not intend to marry me. As of today we are done because I won’t give her the ring or move the relationship forward.
I’ve compromised a lot to be with her. I will be her boyfriend until I die, as lame as that sounds, but I don’t think I can bend on this. I will not give her that ring if she will not marry me.
I’m an idiot for leaving the thing out and I know it’s super unfair that it has been hanging over her head for a while … but I don’t think I’m in the wrong here and I think it’s ridiculous that she expects me to propose to her knowing it won’t lead to marriage.
Now, I know that everyone is different and this was a super condensed synopsis of the issue, but I would appreciate neutral point of views . . . especiall from the ladies on the board.
And yes, I know I spelled Confused wrong . . .