- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
BIG UPDATE FROM TONIGHT for those of you following the madness…
So, last night he brought it up as soon as I got home, but I don’t think he was really ready to talk about it, as he got very frustrated… but when we went to bed, he was apologetic for shutting down saying he just doesn’t know what to do because he wants me happy but doesn’t want to disappoint his mom, and he KNOWS she is being unreasonable but he is miserable because he is hurt that she can’t just tell us “I love you both and just want you happy” and instead she is saying you ahve to have XYZ.
WELL, I didn’t know just how bad he was feeling until tonight.
(short aside: I went to the venue today to look at options for cutting back and there were not many as it was an all inclusive price with a bunch of things “thrown in” as a favor since the gm knows FFIL, so we set up a meeting with my dad to go over budget and have him help us see what we can do to work out some kinks etc)
We had a meeting with my dad, and FI had a breakdown. Like, full on, grown ass man, crying in front of his FIL (my dad). Turns out every time he’s tried talking to his mom, she shuts him down, starts screaming regardless of how calm he is being, and just trying to guilt/manipulate him. He is so hurt and so tired of it and so mad she can’t just be happy for us… He has asked my dad to talk to her and tell her to back off, in hopes that she’ll listen to someone of her own generation (I mean, she can’t start screaming at my dad without coming off as a lunatic) so my dad will be speaking with her and saying she needs to be happy for us if she wants there to be a wedding at all, because she is making him miserable, driving a wedge between us and the two of them because of all her expectations.
That being said, we started renegotiating. We’re scaling back the midnight buffet (which will be: taking out everything EXCEPT our mini burgers and poutine, and just having homemade desserts/fruit) and he has given me a list of 20 ppl to cut, so far.
He really is a good man, just having a really hard time because his mother is not being unconditionally supportive but rather just full on disrespecting the fact that hes a grown man and able to make his own decisions… I mean just today, she felt the need to remind him TWICE to text/email/ or call his cousin who is getting married tomorrow (we’re going to my cousins wedding instead) and congratulate them… like REALLY?!?! woman, he’s 30 years old I’m pretty sure he can make his own decisions…
UGGGGH she is so smothering. I won’t lie, I was really pleased when he told her to “shut up [he]knows” …
It just sucks that his parents aren’t being supportive and encouraging him to do what makes him happy… I can’t believe they are being this selfish. ugg