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@Ms. Meowerson: inspired by sweet pea's post regarding her 16 bridesmaids...god bless her!
I had six and I thought it was a great number!
I don't think I'd want to go much higher than that though or I think it just starts to become too big of a group (and I honestly couldn't go lower unless I just had 1 or 2 - my sister and his sister - the 4 friends I had I absolutely would not be able to choose between).
It's hard to say what number is "best" though as it all depends on how many people you have that are THAT close to you!
I had two and a bridesman (my little bro), it worked well. The only downside with my brother was that he was not legal and therefore didn't get to participate at my stag.
Well, I'm an encore bride...my first marriage, I had 4 bridesmaids. (A maid of honor, matron of honor, and two "regular" bridesmaids, to be precise.) This time around, though, I'm not having any attendants...well, unless you count my sweet kiddos, who will be 8 and 5 when we get married. I don't count them as attendants in the traditional sense...they're going to walk in with me, but I'm not sure yet if they'll stand up with us through the whole ceremony and I'm not planning to give them specific jobs/roles.
Edited to actually answer your question this time: I thought 4 was a great number, but I'm also happy to not be having a traditional wedding party at all this time around...it would feel weird to me. I think the number just depends on what you're in the mood for, honestly!
We have only been engaged for 3 months (wedding next Aug.) and I am already regretting my 7 bridesmaids... Actually, there is only one I would cut if I could take it back, but she's my FI's SIL (not sure that that makes her to me) therefore to keep the peace in the family, I will let it be. :/
I had 6 and I was really happy with that number. It wasn't so many that it wasn't manageable, but it was nice to have a larger number so they could share the costs and the work associated with throwing my shower and bachelorette. Really though I think it's about the people and not the number. You should pick the people closest to you, but also, people truly love you and want to support you. My six bridesmaids all came from different parts of my life and didn't know each other at all. But all I had to do was provide my MOH with email addresses from them all and she took it from there. They got along so well with each other and it was so much fun for me to share my engagement and wedding with all of them. I really don't get it when I hear people talk about bridesmaid drama because it's just not something I ever had to deal with.
I had seven in my bridal party. It was SO FUN to have everyone around on my wedding day-we had fun getting ready together-they did an awesome job on my shower and b-party. I couldn't have asked for a better bridal party. It was weird because none of them are friends outside of being friends with me-but for the most part everyone was polite and nice to each other and I only think there was one person who was a little out of line at times. It's hard to put that many girls together for anything" and I was worried about so many different personalities getting along-so that is something to think about.
@flamingred: this is exactly my concern. i'd like 6, but they are all very different personality-wise and not friends with one another, just me. i'm wondering if this could end in distaster.
I had 7 bridesmaids but I wish I had had 4. I originally was going to have 4 but then my MIL got upset that my 2 SILs were not a part of the my bridal party (because DH has 3 sisters and I didnt want to only have 1 friend) so then I added them. 4 would be a perfect number! 7 was too many!
@Ms. Meowerson: I think that it could go either way - it could be totally fine and awesome or it could cause drama. In my case even 6 would have caused drama because my SILs and my friends really didnt get along very well! Its not that they dont like each other its just that each was trying to take over planning stuff so it caused conflict!
I had 5, and don't really see how I would've done it differently. However, if it would've been possible, I probably would've had fewer girls... maybe 3?
Also- I didn't have any drama or anything... It was just kind of difficult to communicate with all of them, because the three who weren't my sisters didn't know each other and were scattered around the country.
@Ms. Meowerson: My sister was my MOH and was very careful about how she handeld the group-Imean she knew everyone in the group because of me so that was helpful. Do you have anyone like that in your group of 6?
I know she was stressed out at times but she managed to keep the peace the year before my wedding. Also-I was pretty relaxed about what they wore-I went shopping with them individually (no sense forcing a bunch of girls who don't know each other to hang out more than necessary) and for my b-party I told them they could invite their own friends if they were not comfortable with the group. No one ended up doing that either but I think the key is have someone even tempered and responsible to be responsible for the group.
@flamingred: you sound like a very considerate bride. there are 5 i pretty much have to have and a sixth i'd like to add, but she isn't terribly friendly (i love her!) so i am wondering if that would be a problem, or if people are grown up enough.
EDIT: I'm not married yet--oops! HA!
Three on each side is reasonable for us; we have to draw the line somewhere and having big wedding parties can get pricey.
@Ms. Meowerson: well, I was back and forth on two girls and I finally decided to have them because I knew their feelings would be hurt if I didn't and I'm really happy I did. One girl (my first friend I asked besides my sisters!) who I've been good friends with for a long time was absolutely horrible to everyone the first 6 months, and I gave her the option of stepping down which she did. I was totally hurt and devestated by her decision, but it was better for everyone in the end. When people start acting like brats don't beg or fight-the less dramatic the bride is the less dramatic everyone else will be. That's my advice on bridal parties! =)
I had 2, and it was perfect for me. Not too many to worry and stress about, but they were there if I needed them.
We originally had three on each side, and on the wedding day, we were down to two each.
Honestly, the smaller, the better! We only had family in our WP so we didn't have to chose between friends, and it made it a lot easier to have fewer people because usually if you only have a couple or maybe three, those people will truly be close to you and care. Less drama, less people to keep track of ... totally worth it!
@flamingred: so did you originally choose 8 and ended up having 7 with the girl who stepped down?
I had 2 BMs and 1 MOH. Seemed like plenty to me. Then again, I have very few female friends.
We had three total on each side. Loved it.
No one was really able to help with the wedding, and I knew that going in.. but everyone got along, and it was easier to keep track of three people getting shoes and dresses than say 8!
I started with 7 bridesmaids because I originally included my SIL's but after they all backed out I ended up with 4, including MOH. I thought that this wouldn't be enough but it worked out perfectly.
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for ladies who have already had their weddings, if you had to do it again, what would you say is a good number of bridesmaids? please only answer if you've already wed!! thanks in advance.