Post # 1
Going anonymous here…
I need some advice, my teenage sister visited me recently and mentioned on a few occasions (not many) when they were fighting our mom slapped her. I am in shock. My mom stopped spanking me when I was little, and I was a far more difficult kid than my sister. Is it ever as a parent to slap a teenager? I don’t think so, but I also don’t believe its ever ok to use physical punishment on a child/person.
I live thousands of miles away from home, and my parents are going through what could be an explosive divorce, so brining him into this could be disasterous. I don’t know what to do…
ETA: I added a poll.
Post # 3
I dunno, I don’t really see anything wrong with it. My brothers were complete A-holes when they were teenagers (still can be sometimes). Sometimes they needed a good smack when they said something out of line; they were getting too big for their britches. She only did it every now and then, but trust me, they deserved it.
Post # 4
@anonybee56: To me this is not okay. No person should never physically strike out at another person, let alone a parent hitting a child at any age. I doubt that bringing your father into this would help anything, but maybe talking to your mother? If you are financially able, maybe bring your sister to live with you?
This is a tough situation and I’m sorry that you are going through this.
Post # 5
A lot of kids NEED to be slapped. I think it’s fine.
Post # 6
This is more likely to turn into a debate.
There are people who think kids SHOULD be slapped/spanked.
And there are people who don’t think it’s okay
It really doesn’t matter what any of us think, it’s up to what your parents think.
I however, believe that sometimes, a kid does need to be slapped or spanked. There is a line between abuse being slapped in abuse. I’m guessing if they did not do this to you, and haven’t done this to your sister, she must have done something to recieve a slap.
I was spanked as a child, not ABUSED. It kept me out of alot of trouble.
Post # 7
I was spanked a lot as a kid. I’ll tell you what – I never did whatever it was I did to get in trouble, ever again! 😛
Post # 8
I don’t think it’s ever right to hit other people,especially adults hitting children (and I consider teenagers as children).
Post # 9
@anonybee56: I was slapped a few times when I was a teenager and I 100% deserved it. I was not/am not traumatized.
Post # 10
Hitting in the face seems pretty extreme to me…. and thats what I would define as a slap.
My parents VERY RARELY spanked me when I was little. They had a way of grabbing my arm and speaking in a tone that made me KNOW that they meant business…. and that tone carried on into my teenage years.
If my parent slapped me the bond and trust I had with them would have been broken.
Post # 11
I was slapped too. I am also not traumatised.
Kids will push you to test your limits and you need to get them in line…
Post # 12
Kids shouldn’t be slapped, but they shouldn’t be a-holes either. I hope to never slap my kids. But as an 8th grade teacher, I wish some parents would slap the HELL out of their children.
Post # 13
You are only hearing one side of the story. While you may have been a more difficult child a while ago may not be the case now. I’m sure the divorce is affecting your sister as well as your parents and she may be acting out in a way that a slap is warrented.
Post # 14
Grounding, withholding privileges,logic, yelling and threatening did not work on me. So when I said horrible things to my mom, sometimes I’d get smacked in the face. It wasn’t a punch, and it never busted my lip or blacked my eye, but it stung. I deserved it, and knew what the consequences would be and chose to do it anyway. I stopped doing it after a few times, though!
I do not consider myself scarred, physically or emotionally, from this. It’s just like spanking a grade-schooler–it’s not ever something that should be a first resort, but sometimes there is just nothing else that will work, and IMO it’s better to spank/smack than to end up with a kid who plays with the oven and runs out into the road, or a teen who grows into an a-hole with no boundaries or discipline whatsoever, as long as you aren’t inflicting any actual physical harm. People who punch, kick, bludgeon or lash their kids should be thrown in jail, but a spank or slap on the face is to that as taking away dessert is to withholding food altogether.
I don’t know of any kid who was emotionally harmed from being spanked or slapped when they definitely deserved it. The kids I know who are damaged are the ones who were legitimately beaten, frequently and often without any sort of provocation–or the ones who had no disclpline at all and the parents just gave up and let them run amok.
Post # 15
I don’t believe in corporal punishment at any age, but when it is at its most justified, it is controlled and rational, not lashing out, out of anger. This sounds like lashing out.
Post # 16
My mom slapped me a couple times when we were fighting when I was a teenager. I definitely don’t think it’s ok. There are much better ways to get your point across.
I was also spanked as a younger child, but I think this was more justified. Sometimes you just can’t reason with a child who can’t think logically yet, so you have to resort to corporal punishment. With a rational teenager, though, hitting is not OK in my book.