In tears as I write this, please help :(

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3736 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@mandyjoy94:  Neither one of you sound very mature if a situation like this leads to an argument resulting in crying. Maybe you should hold off getting engaged for a bit. 

Post # 4
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

It’s $50 a year…just pay it. I’m also a full time student but $50 a year is nothing. It’s nothing to cry over. I’m paying to have my wedding band resized. I would never expect my FI to pay for any of my expenses even though he has a full time job and I’m a student and we live together when I’m home. I don’t think it’s a big deal for you to pay for insurance, replating.

Post # 5
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

what is going to happen when you are married- is money gonna be our money or his is his and yours are yours and who will pay for house and the things like groceries and bills and such…. i believe the replating and insurance would qualify has OUR EXPENSE and your both will pay for it…

Post # 6
Member
8702 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I don’t see how this issue should result in hurt feelings or crying. 

Rhodium plating is a non issue. It isn’t like you have to do it every other weekend. The insurance (I feel) should fall on whomever paid for the ring.

If this is how you two handle very minor (very minor) issues, I suggest holding off on any engagement. 

Post # 7
Member
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@mandyjoy94:  I’m of the view that once someone gives you a ‘gift’ it’s then your responsiblity for the upkeep and onging costs of it. Like my parents gave my sister a car but it was then on her to pay all the ongoing costs of insurance, registration etc.

 

Having said that, if thiyou guys are getting engaged most people tend to join finances in some way or the other in the end, so what will it really matter down the track? This is really not something to be getting emotional over IMO…

Post # 9
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Have you guys discussed how you will handle  money once you are married? If not, that’s really immportant. Because that’s a much bigger issue than plating a ring. But the answers to how you’ll manage money will likely answer the “who is paying” question.

Post # 10
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@mandyjoy94:  agree with @s2bmrscook:, that was my immeadiate thought reading this. A stranger can’t tell you what to do but if you are looking for advise, maybe slow things down a bit. You also sound like you probably need to get your financial situation in order before making a commitment as big as marriage.

Post # 11
Member
1437 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I get a lot of immaturity on both your parts from this post. I didn’t read anything that should result in crying!

I’m guessing based on you username that you are 18-19 years old…and he’s only 23…I have to agree with previous posters. I think you need to seriously consider whether the two of you are really ready for marriage.

Post # 13
Member
6504 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@s2bmrscook:  +1

I don’t think this situation should have ended up with you crying. $50/year really isn’t that much (even as a full time student) and you only need to replate a ring once (maybe twice) per year. Also, if you went over budget with the ring you chose I can kind of see why he would ask you to pay for those things.

Are you sharing money when you get married? If so, you only will be paying for this by yourself for a few years. Hardly worth an argument that ends in tears.

Post # 14
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Do you guys live together?

Post # 15
Member
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I have to be honest, I’m not sure what the big deal is? Why the tears?  It’s $50 a year we’re talking about here, right? 

As a couple, especially a couple about to embark upon marriage, hardships and expenses are typically shared.  If you have to pay for something for a short while, is it a big deal?  The entire situation sounds a little immature to me.  Very dramatic… What’s going to happen when you are sharing the cost of a house?  Children?  cars?  Investments and pensions?  You can’t agree on who’s going to pay an annual $50 bill, which is less that $4 a month… I’m a student… I spend more than that a week just on coffee..

 

Post # 16
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

What did I just read?

Just pay the insurance. It’s not that much. You paid for the ring – protect it.

Aren’t you two going to combining finances at some point anyway? My FI realized last year that it was silly to discuss who was paying for what because it’s all going to be ours soon enough.

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