Post # 1
Hi Bees! I have a good friend who broke off her engagement recently. She & her ex were not together very long during their whole dating/engagement…I would say they dated for a little under 6 mos…anyway, they broke up about 2 mos after being engaged…I asked her if she gave the ring back to him & she started going off on a tirade about him “owing” her $ that was spent when planning their wedding…um, ok…so she basically said that because she had debt from wedding planning(I have no idea what the debt could be) She was keeping the ring because he “owes” her…so my ? to my fellow Bees is this…If you & your FI ended your engagement, would you give him the ring back? Would you consider how long the 2 of you were together before making a decision? Do you feel that you would be entitled to keep it? If so, why? I’m curious to see what others would/have done…this is strictly hypothetical…so PLEASE keep the responses clean…lol
Post # 3
The ring goes back, no ifs, ands, or buts. The ring is a given in anticipation of a marriage.
It is not a no-strings attached gift.
When the engagement is off the table, the ring is off the finger.
Post # 4
I feel like I would cry and not be able to give it back– I wouldn’t wear it, but it’s a token of a relationship that should have changed your life (and we’ve been together three years, so significantly longer attachment :))
Post # 5
@Soon2BeeFirstLadyJee: if I were the one to break off the engagement, I would absolutely give it back…but if he broke it off…I might keep it. Or if it was a mutual decision we came to..
This would be a hard situation to be in..but I just can’t see keeping the ring if I broke off the engagement as well.
Post # 6
For me, it depends on who ended it. If he ended it, I would most certainly not give the ring back. I wouldn’t wear it either though. Most likely, I’d sell it.
Post # 7
@Soon2BeeFirstLadyJee: it depends. One of my friends paid more than half the price for her ring. When he left her, I really thought she had every right to keep the ring. (I’m not sure what she ended up doing.)
Post # 8
it’s a gift. if there’s no guilt on my part for ending the engagement, I’d keep it. otherwise I’d give it back out of guilt. he wouldn’t want it anyway, it was meant for me.
Post # 9
i didn’t keep my previous engagement rings. i felt it was the right thing to do to return them.
Post # 10
If I was in your friend’s situation I would give it back. If me and my SO broke up I probably wouldn’t. We have been together almost 5 years and my future e-ring is going to have my moms diamonds in it, so no I wouldn’t give it back.
Post # 11
- Wedding: February 2015 - Mount Hermon
I agree with PP, if he breaks it off, you can do what you want with it. If she breaks it off, give it back. Assuming he paid for it. If that’s not the case, then it gets more complex.
Post # 12
I personally think as long as he paid for it, he gets it back. If he broke it off do you really want to look at it? The ONLY exception I can think is if it is your family’s heirloom. For instance, my sister has my grandmother’s ring, he would NOT get to keep that.
Post # 13
I think where I live, the law is that if the engagement ends, you have to give the ring back (assuming your SO bought it).
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
If it was a mutual breakup or even if he broke my heart but wasnt a dick about it, I’d give it back. If he cheated or something, I’d pawn that shit!
Post # 15
I would give the ring back, I wouldn’t want bad memories hanging around me if he were the one to break it off. If I broke it off, I wouldn’t want to keep it because I would feel guilty having that reminder that I broke someone’s heart. I would be mature enough to work out and split the costs already spent on the wedding itself (especially if it came out of just his or just my account, I think its only fair to split that as a wedding is mutual expense)
Post # 16
Depends who ends it. If it was me, I’d give it back. Him, I wouldn’t want to. And if he cheated I absolutely would not give it back.