- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I don't see why you have to include her in the bridal party. She will still be important as the wife of the BM. Plus, unless you have another guy, it will be uneven with 2 girls and one guy.
And I don't think you have to have them walk down together but if you had 2 maids, he could probably walk them both at the same time.
If you arent close to her and dont know her very well it seems somewhat silly to ask her....especially since its not your FIs sister its his sister in law! If you find out she feels excluded maybe you could include her in some other way - a reading, a song, helping escort people at the ceremony, walking with the flower girl or ring bearer down the aisle....Im sure you could figure out something, but I dont think its necessary to have her as a bridesmaid
I'm having my FI's sister as my bridesmaid, but only because shes great and we're really close (I'm also having my sis and he's having his two bro's as best man)
If you didn't think to ask her initially, I wouldn't ask her now. I'm sure there are other people that you are closer to like friends or cousins who haven't been asked as you want to keep it small.
It may be nice to include her in other ways liek a reading or getting her involved with bachelorette party/bridal shower.
But its up to you, it is a nice gesture if you don't mind either way, but it sounds like your bridal party is small and intimate...
i wouldnt include her - she is your FI''s brothers wife, that doesnt mean you have to be besties and include her in the wedding party
I agree, it doesn't make a lot of sense. If it was his sister, I would say it might be a good idea, but his sister-in-law? There is definitely no etiquette rule that suggests including her.
I don't think it's necessary, especially if you're not close. If you need someone for a reading and want to include her somehow that might be a more appropriate way to do so.
My FI's brother is a groomsmen but I am not including his wife in the wedding party. I really like her, but we are not close at all. I think the bridal party is for people that are close not just related.
We're not including his SIL. It's really not necessary, unless you really want to.
Just to present a different opinion: if you do invite her to be in the wedding party this could be the beginning of a lifelong friendship. It would give you an opportunity to get to know her better and make you all closer as a family...that's the positive side.
Negative: you could wind up hating her because of conflicts that would have not arose if you hadn't included her in your wedding.
Either way, it would be interesting. :)
Eh, my opinion is always that if there is someone on his side he thinks should be honored he should include them in his wedding party, if he is close to his SIL she should be groomswoman not a bridesmaid. I think it sets things up for trouble to have people you're not close to in your party and is weird but everyone is different.
I included my DH's SIL, but only because I love her and she is really like a sister. I am a firm believer in surrounding yourself with people who will be supportive and helpful on your wedding day. I was really glad I did that too, because of the DJ fiasco at my wedding. If you don't think she will be these things, then I wouldn't include her.
I included DH's sister as a bridesmaid (my MIL made me feel guilty if I didn't which meant I had to exclude a friend from our bridesmaids but that's another story) but did not even think twice about not including his brother's wife. His brother was one of our groomsmen but I don't even know his wife that well (they live in Norway) so I don't think it was a big deal. I don't think you need to include her at all, especially if you aren't friends/close.
If you were good friends with her I'm sure you would have invited her to be in your bridal party yourself. Like a pp said, she'll be just as important being the wife of a groomsman. There's no need to invite her to be in your party.
I personally dont think you need to invite her to be in the wedding party. Id be a different story if she were your FH's sister, then I would say to ask her. I asked my DH's sister to be in my bridal party but not HIS 2 SIL's (wives of his brothers). We were closer and it made sense to ask her also because she was "direct" family, not "by association" if that makes sense. Everyone understood and I honestly dont think they expected to be BM's anyway.
My SIL (that was a BM) just got married and she DID ask me and the other 2 SIL's to be BM's. The way I figure it is she was already a SIL to all of us because of her brothers marrying so it made more sense for her to ask all of us. I wouldnt have expected her to ask her husbands brother wife (if he had one) to be in the wedding.
I personally dont think you need to invite her to be in the wedding party. Id be a different story if she were your FH's sister, then I would say to ask her. I asked my DH's sister to be in my bridal party but not HIS 2 SIL's (wives of his brothers). We were closer and it made sense to ask her also because she was "direct" family, not "by association" if that makes sense. Everyone understood and I honestly dont think they expected to be BM's anyway.
My SIL (that was a BM) just got married and she DID ask me and the other 2 SIL's to be BM's. The way I figure it is she was already a SIL to all of us because of her brothers marrying so it made more sense for her to ask all of us. I wouldnt have expected her to ask her husbands brother wife (if he had one) to be in the wedding.
I do not think its necessary to include her at all and if you do, she should have to walk with a groomsman.
Your MOH and BM go together
Just think if the situation we opposite, if your best friend/MOH were married, should her husband be in the wedding party as escorting her? No.
If you're not that close to her, why include her? She's a SIL, if it were your direct SIL it would be different.
eh, like other said, if you're not close, there's no need to make her a BM...that comes with some responsibilities & if your other BMs are close to you, she actually may feel even more excluded rather than included. I like the suggestions above to include her in other ways, like readings or, if she has other talents, to contribute in that way (a song if a singer/musician; entrance art if an artist/craftsperson, etc.). Then, as part of the ceremony, she'll be included in all the pre-wedding stuff her husband's invited to (RD, joint Shower or whatever) & will not look off sitting at the head table.
We're not including FI's SIL, but that's because we're more of the camp that thinks the WP should be people you're closest to - his BM is a boyhood friend, my MOH is a closely bonded college friend who we see every week - and because our wedding is small (60), so our WP consists only of the BM & MOH.
I had the same conundrum with my FI's other sister. One of his sisters I am super close with the other... well I just don't know her well. So, because she's a paralegal and very detail oriented, I asked her to do DOC stuff throughout the day of. She really likes being in charge and having lists and charts so it's working well for her. :o) Try to let her help out in some way that's similar to her character.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 52 |
| Brielle | 41 |
| mypinkshoes | 34 |
| his chippymunk | 34 |
| This Time Round | 34 |
| Cady | 32 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 32 |
| TheLionQueen | 31 |
| AshleyR83 | 30 |
| Future Mrs K | 28 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| LammChop | 11 |
 deborah.dehlinger |
10 |
| gizzy123 | 5 |
| MilksMom | 4 |
| superfashionista23 | 3 |
| Mrs. Chai | 3 |
| ticklemepink | 3 |
| raspberry bride | 3 |
| TwoCityBride | 3 |
| saintsation79 | 3 |
My FH and I are having some issues choosing our wedding party! His best man will be his brother and my MOH will be my best friend. However, my FH thinks it may be a good idea to include his brother's wife in my bridal party. I'm not opposed to the idea at all, I just don't know her very well and we're not very close. Just small talk and chats when we see each other.
If I do include her, will she walk down the aisle with her husband? Or would it be okay to have him escort my MOH?
I guess the real question is: should I even ask her at all?