(Closed) Including his SIL?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Hostess
18646 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t see why you have to include her in the bridal party.  She will still be important as the wife of the BM.  Plus, unless you have another guy, it will be uneven with 2 girls and one guy.

And I don’t think you have to have them walk down together but if you had 2 maids, he could probably walk them both at the same time.

Post # 4
Member
2532 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you arent close to her and dont know her very well it seems somewhat silly to ask her….especially since its not your FIs sister its his sister in law! If you find out she feels excluded maybe you could include her in some other way – a reading, a song, helping escort people at the ceremony, walking with the flower girl or ring bearer down the aisle….Im sure you could figure out something, but I dont think its necessary to have her as a bridesmaid

Post # 5
Member
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m having my FI’s sister as my bridesmaid, but only because shes great and we’re really close (I’m also having my sis and he’s having his two bro’s as best man)

If you didn’t think to ask her initially, I wouldn’t ask her now. I’m sure there are other people that you are closer to like friends or cousins who haven’t been asked as you want to keep it small.

It may be nice to include her in other ways liek a reading or getting her involved with bachelorette party/bridal shower.

But its up to you, it is a nice gesture if you don’t mind either way, but it sounds like your bridal party is small and intimate…

 

 

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i wouldnt include her – she is your FI”s brothers wife, that doesnt mean you have to be besties and include her in the wedding party

 

Post # 7
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I agree, it doesn’t make a lot of sense. If it was his sister, I would say it might be a good idea, but his sister-in-law? There is definitely no etiquette rule that suggests including her. 

Post # 8
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I don’t think it’s necessary, especially if you’re not close.  If you need someone for a reading and want to include her somehow that might be a more appropriate way to do so.

Post # 9
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

My FI’s brother is a groomsmen but I am not including his wife in the wedding party.  I really like her, but we are not close at all.  I think the bridal party is for people that are close not just related.

Post # 10
Member
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

We’re not including his SIL. It’s really not necessary, unless you really want to.

Post # 11
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just to present a different opinion: if you do invite her to be in the wedding party this could be the beginning of a lifelong friendship.  It would give you an opportunity to get to know her better and make you all closer as a family…that’s the positive side.

Negative: you could wind up hating her because of conflicts that would have not arose if you hadn’t included her in your wedding.

Either way, it would be interesting.  🙂

Post # 12
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee

Eh, my opinion is always that if there is someone on his side he thinks should be honored he should include them in his wedding party, if he is close to his SIL she should be groomswoman not a bridesmaid.  I think it sets things up for trouble to have people you’re not close to in your party and is weird but everyone is different.

Post # 13
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I included my DH’s SIL, but only because I love her and she is really like a sister.  I am a firm believer in surrounding yourself with people who will be supportive and helpful on your wedding day.  I was really glad I did that too, because of the DJ fiasco at my wedding.  If you don’t think she will be these things, then I wouldn’t include her.

Post # 14
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I included DH’s sister as a bridesmaid (my MIL made me feel guilty if I didn’t which meant I had to exclude a friend from our bridesmaids but that’s another story) but did not even think twice about not including his brother’s wife.  His brother was one of our groomsmen but I don’t even know his wife that well (they live in Norway) so I don’t think it was a big deal.  I don’t think you need to include her at all, especially if you aren’t friends/close. 

Post # 15
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If you were good friends with her I’m sure you would have invited her to be in your bridal party yourself. Like a pp said, she’ll be just as important being the wife of a groomsman. There’s no need to invite her to be in your party.

Post # 16
Member
2682 posts
Sugar bee

I personally dont think you need to invite her to be in the wedding party.  Id be a different story if she were your FH’s sister, then I would say to ask her.  I asked my DH’s sister to be in my bridal party but not HIS 2 SIL’s (wives of his brothers).  We were closer and it made sense to ask her also because she was “direct” family, not “by association” if that makes sense.  Everyone understood and I honestly dont think they expected to be BM’s anyway.

My SIL (that was a BM) just got married and she DID ask me and the other 2 SIL’s to be BM’s.  The way I figure it is she was already a SIL to all of us because of her brothers marrying so it made more sense for her to ask all of us.  I wouldnt have expected her to ask her husbands brother wife (if he had one) to be in the wedding.

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