Post # 1
So I am about to address my wedding invitations, but can’t decide how I want to address the invitations to married couples. I don’t really like the traditional approach where you don’t include the woman’s name at all.
So instead of writing Mr. and Mrs. John Smith I am thinking of writing:
Mr. and Mrs. Jane and John Smith OR Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Smith
I’m not sure which format is more proper, and whose name should go first, the husband or wife’s?
Post # 3
I just wrote Mr. and Mrs. Smith or The Smiths
Post # 4
I wrote “Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith” when I knew the wife’s name. When I didn’t, I just wrote “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”.
I got an RSVP back from a male cousin written (by his wife) as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. Great… problem is, I can’t remember his wife’s name! So I call her Mrs. John Smith for now. 🙂
Post # 5
@EmEv: I don’t think either of the alternative you listed are a proper way to word them (my pastor, FI and mom actually started laughing during one of our meetings because they thought I’d said something like “Mr. and Mrs. Jane and John Smith”). They just flow very awkwardly and don’t sound right.
If you don’t like the traditional “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” (which is the way I’d prefer to see an invite addressed when I receive it) then I think either one of troubled‘s suggestions are the way to go.
Post # 6
I went the traditional route of Mr. & Mr. John Smith. I don’t by any means want to offend anyone’s wife but the other way just made everything too complicated and long.
Post # 7
I would go with Troubled’s suggestion. I get what your saying about including the woman’s first name, but the flow is awkward when you say it out loud
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union
My envelopes looked like this (the font was script-y so it kind of needed extra lines):
Mr. and Mrs.
John and Jane Smith
As far as I know, no one fainted at the sight 🙂
Post # 9
We did Mr. & Mrs. because like other posters I didn’t know who the wife was! It’s horrible. The only time I put both names were when the husband and wife each had their own last names.
Post # 10
Wow, seems like I’m the only person who doesn’t like the traditional addressing format!
I think I’ve decided to address most of the invitations in the Mr. and Mrs. John Smith format.
I just feel funny about not including the wife’s first name when she is the person that I know better. So in these cases I guess I will use the Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith format.
Thanks for the suggestions everyone!
Post # 11
@EmEv: NO! You’re not the only one. I started a thread on this and got a lot more support actually. I addressed mine as Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith. There was no way I was going to identify the wife by her husband’s name. It just doesn’t sit right with me for so many reasons. Also, my parents’ hippie friends would have been beyond offended. I think my addressing scheme worked great, and it doesn’t sound so weird once you get used to it. I didn’t get any negative comments either…
Post # 12
I know that the way you are *supposed to* address them is to Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. The inner envelope then reads “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”
I wanted to include the wives’ names too, so the compromise I made was Mr. and Mrs. John Smith on the outside envelope and just John and Jane on the inner envelope (or John, Jane, Billy and Susie, if I was inviting a family.) It just seemed like the invitation was a bit more personal to me that way — but then, I didn’t have a super formal wedding.
However, the outside envelopes that were seen were addressed “correctly” and I avoided the awkwardness of Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Smith, but at the same time, I still made sure the wife’s name was included. It wasn’t perfectly “correct,” but it worked for me (and I didn’t hear complaints!).
Post # 13
I hate to get all Knot on this thread – but Mrs. Jane Smith is NEVER correct. Unfortunately, and I don’t like it anymore than anyone else, you are never a Mrs. with your first name. You can be Mrs. John Smith or Mrs. Smith, but never Mrs. Jane Smith. If you want to use a woman’s first name, the only correct way to do it is Ms. Jane Smith.
Alternatively, if a married couple goes by different last names, the correct address is:
Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Doe OR Mr. Smith and Ms. Doe
They go on the same line because they are married, but she is still MS. because she uses a different last name.
Post # 14
Oh, and I am with Neva – unless you are having a super formal wedding, it is just fine (and totally correct) to use the formal “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” on the outer envelope and “John and Jane” on the inner envelope.
Post # 15
As a married woman who gets invited to weddings, I much prefer to receive invitations address the traditional, proper way with “Mr. and Mrs. Husband Name”
Post # 16
Mine are like this
Mr and Mrs
John & Jane Smith
I did all my own calligraphy and used this format in part because I wanted to be able to write more, ha!