Post # 1
So we want to keep a small wedding party but we still have some people who we are very close with that I would like to try and make them feel like they are part of our day (in a bigger way than just being guests). But I don’t want to just give them “chores” to do. Any ideas? The people we are trying to involve – 1 close guy friend of both myself and my Fiance ( we actually asked him to be our MC but he politely declined as he HATES speaking in front of people – which we knew but we thought it was still worth a shot), one very close female friend I work with and then my one cousin who has been like a sister to me (who really should be in the wedding party but I already have 1 more bridesmaid than he does groomsmen and the unsymetricalness is killing me!).
We are getting married in a lodge. I haven’t been to a lot of weddings and never helped plan one before. I am not sure what all there really is for “jobs” that need done or like I said, ways to include people. I did figure I would forsure ask my one cousin to come get ready with us that morning (but if I ask her I figure I will also have to ask her 2 sisters – which I love I am just not as close with).
Post # 3
Well, there’s not a lot you can do with the person with public speaking fears. But the other two could do readings!
Post # 4
the cousin you are close with you could ask to be your personal attendant(this would give her reason to be there getting ready while not needing to invite her siblings). She would be there to assist you getting ready and help keep things moving for you day of. Checking on things when you are in your dress so you can stay hidden and keep it a surprise before the wedding.
The gentleman could be the wedding host. It wouldn’t be speaking in public in front of everyone but he would be there to answer guest questions, welcome them as they enter, etc. Or what about asking him to walk your mother to her seat? I’m assuming your father is walking you down the aisle and walking your mom would be an honored position for him without speaking in front of everyone, unless you have a brother or close friend doing it already.
Readings are also great for the ladies if they don’t mind speaking in front of people
Post # 5
We had a small wedding and wedding party, too. 75 people, three bridesmaids and three groomsmen. We also had a lot of friends and family we wanted to involve.
My oldest sister did my hair and makeup and a reading during the ceremony. We gave my sister-in-law a reading, too. We had my father-in-law say a prayer instead of having a sermon (we did a self-uniting ceremony in PA, so no pastor). A good college friend of ours was the photographer and her husband – also a good college friend – “officiated” the ceremony. And my brother-in-law who’s a pastry chef made our cake.
I’d consider what your friends strengths are and ask if they want to be involved based on what they’re good at. Readings are a great way to involve people. For your friend who doesn’t like public speaking, think about what other strengths he has that he could get involved with.
Ushering is always an option, too. Most weddings I’ve been to have two ushers who aren’t part of the wedding party. And I second the idea of having him walk your mother down the aisle if you don’t have a brother or other relative doing that already.
Post # 6
Thanks so much for the ideas ladies! I just want to make sure they know that just because they weren’t in the wedding party doesn’t mean they still aren’t super important to us (without just giving them a bunch of work to do).