Incorporating others into our day

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Well, there’s not a lot you can do with the person with public speaking fears. But the other two could do readings!

Post # 4
46 posts

the cousin you are close with you could ask to be your personal attendant(this would give her reason to be there getting ready while not needing to invite her siblings). She would be there to assist you getting ready and help keep things moving for you day of. Checking on things when you are in your dress so you can stay hidden and keep it a surprise before the wedding. 

The gentleman could be the wedding host. It wouldn’t be speaking in public in front of everyone but he would be there to answer guest questions, welcome them as they enter, etc. Or what about asking him to walk your mother to her seat? I’m assuming your father is walking you down the aisle and walking your mom would be an honored position for him without speaking in front of everyone, unless you have a brother or close friend doing it already. 

Readings are also great for the ladies if they don’t mind speaking in front of people

Post # 5
84 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We had a small wedding and wedding party, too. 75 people, three bridesmaids and three groomsmen. We also had a lot of friends and family we wanted to involve.

My oldest sister did my hair and makeup and a reading during the ceremony. We gave my sister-in-law a reading, too. We had my father-in-law say a prayer instead of having a sermon (we did a self-uniting ceremony in PA, so no pastor). A good college friend of ours was the photographer and her husband – also a good college friend – “officiated” the ceremony. And my brother-in-law who’s a pastry chef made our cake.

I’d consider what your friends strengths are and ask if they want to be involved based on what they’re good at. Readings are a great way to involve people. For your friend who doesn’t like public speaking, think about what other strengths he has that he could get involved with.

Ushering is always an option, too. Most weddings I’ve been to have two ushers who aren’t part of the wedding party. And I second the idea of having him walk your mother down the aisle if you don’t have a brother or other relative doing that already.

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