Post # 1
I’m getting annoyed with one of my bridesmaids, I love her to death but she seems to be very indecisive about what dress she wants.
We all went to a bridal boutique had a look at dresses we were for an hour, all three had decided on a dress they wanted.
Just last week I found out from my mum none of them wanted the dresses but, two of them had found replacements which fit in perfectly with the wedding. But the other one doesn’t want a short dress which she will need to have because the other two have chose this length. I have sent her lots of pictures of dresses and doesn’t seem to like any because of the length. I even tried to compromise and sent her some pics of below the knee and she doesn’t wasn’t having it. I the later found out if she had to wear a short she would wear black tights which if course can not happen.
I want her to wear something she feels comfortable in but I also want her to wear something that fits in with the other two dress.
Should I tell her to get something similar to the other dresses or just let her have what she wants?
If I should tell her how should I?
Post # 3
She needs to get over it. I’ve been in weddings where I didn’t care for the dress/style, but I wore it without complaining because the bride asked.
Post # 4
She needs to wear the length the other girls have if oyu’re specific on that.
For mine I had similar issue: MoH and 1 BM want long, 2 BM want short. I have allowed them to have whatever dress and length they want as long as its from the same designer and in the same fabric and colour.
MoH insisits on being different so I have allowed her to change either the material and be the same designer, or same material/colour but different designer so the colour would be slightly different and make her stand out.
Post # 5
Accepting to be in ones wedding is accpeting what one wants. While we [brides] want our BMs to like the dresses its just ridiculous for you to let any of them tell YOU how they want to look on YOUR wedding.
I had a very close friend of mine REFUSE to wear anything above the knee or even at the knee for that matter and Im sorry but thats just not what I want on my wedding day. She is not in my wedding and I dont feel bad about it either. Its not fair to make a bride work around what you want.
Post # 6
@mrstaylortobe: I am having the same situation as you, although the BM i am having issues with isnt just being diffuclt about the dress and wanting to wear black tights, she is constanly flip flopping back and forth on whether she can make it to the wedding. I tried changing the style of dresses a few times and she is the only one complaing, so my solution to this was getting my cousin in the wedding as a BM to fill the spot if needed and now I will have a talk with her and explain I luv her to death but I need to move forward with all the BM on same page and she can either be in this wedding 100% as a BM or she can step back, and attended the wedding as my guest. Im sure the step back is what will happen. Good luck to you, I know this is a difficult thing to deal with
Post # 7
My own dropped BM had some problem that was similar to this. I don’t have a good/helpful response, unfortunately.
1) Is it possible for the other two girls to get long versions of what they like? Can some compromise be made?
2) It’s pretty gracious for a bride to consider what her bridesmaids would like to wear. So she should be happy she even gets a say in the matter.
I spent over a week trying to get input from my bridesmaids on what dress line would suit all of them (I’m picking the dress line, color, and fabric and letting them pick the style). The reluctant BM that I had didn’t say anything about anyone’s suggestions, and then when we decided on a dress line she e-mailed me to complain that none of the dresses in that line would work for her and that I should think about my photos because her religious garments would show. She then said that she wouldn’t be offended if I asked her to step down. I was so frustrated! (I’m getting over it now, but it brought up a lot of ‘who the heck kind of person does she think I am?’)
I think from a “big picture” standpoint is that if she really cared about supporting you and your friendship and marriage with your FI, it wouldn’t matter if she was wearing a burlap sack. I would hope brides don’t ask for that, but that kind of support has to come from the heart. If it’s not there, it’s not there, and I think you should ask yourself if her attitude (or something like it) is something you want to bring into your wedding as a reflection of your relationship with your FI.
Post # 8
Thank you all for your help!! I told her she needed to have a dress similar to the other two and she said she had been told by other people in the wedding that she should have a short one anyway, so she is. I’m just waiting now to tackle the tights problem.
Post # 9
@mrstaylortobe: Oh god, no tights… no tights. What is her issue exactly with her legs? Scars? Cellulite? Pale? Is she a bigger girl and scared of looking fat? There are many ways to deal with all those things instead of wearing tights……
Post # 10
@MissBling: She is a UK size 8/ us size 6 I think. She is curvy, figure to die for. She has a problem with her knees but, the dress she has decided on just skims past them so, hoping it hides them enough for her not to care so much.
Post # 11
@mrstaylortobe: I dont know one person who likes their knees lol and quite frankly, nobody will be looking at anyones knees. I hope it works out for you!