Post # 1
Just wanted to vent for a momento… my FH has heard about this plenty and it drives him up the wall, but my indecisiveness is really starting to get on my OWN nerves! Not to mention the money I am wasting shipping things and then shipping them back, or buying them and keeping them too long to return them… ay yi yi. i have always had issues with being indecisive when it comes to “big” decisions, but the wedding is bringing out the WORST indecisiveness ever since in my mind, every decision is a BIG one!
If it weren’t for deposits, I would have probably changed everything at least once by now… I have already changed my dress…first it was the color I was concerned about, then the size, then ultimately the style.. and I can never seem to make a decision and stick to it… even the little things take me forever to decide! STD’s, invite design, wedding day shoes, hair, wedding colors… EVERYTHING.
Anybody else going crazy with their indecisiveness???
Post # 3
Every single day! I have second guessed everything I have done so far! I finally just had to tell myself that no matter what favor the guests get, no matter what the bridesmaid jewelry looks like, not matter what color the napkins are, no one is probably even going to remember them or pay that close attention to them at the wedding. They are just small details that no one even notices or thinks about besides for the bride (and maybe the groom).
Post # 4
@shannonh32…. I have done the same. Even trying to think about the details I remember from people’s weddings before I was engaged… and honestly. It’s not much of anything except maybe food, drinks (or lack thereof), and how happy the groom and bride looked! Other details I certainly forget, but for whatever reason I have convinced myself that my guests will take note of everything!
At the end of the day though, all that really matters is that we will be married…but dag it… i am going to drive myself crazy. Glad to know I’m not alone though!
Post # 7
I am the same exact way – I literally had/have two completely different weddings planned in my head and have flip flopped a million and one times. Now that we are just 3 months away I have no choice but to stick with what I have.
Post # 8
This is totally me. And it sucks. I cant make up my mind on ANYTHING. I had a friend tell me that it is hard for her to help me because in my mind “I have two very different weddings going on” and she is unsure which one to help with. lol
Post # 9
Thanks so much for posting that @Hippos! I may print that out and tape it up at work and at home! That is SOOOOO true and I always try to remind myself of that, but somehow, someway… my indecisiveness rears it’s little opinion about this or that, and I am torn!
@aheavel – I am a little over 3 months away too, so most decisions are written in concrete, but the little ones that aren’t are the ones that are the problem now… like my shoes (that I know will only be seen for a little while!), my makeup, hair, accessories… yada yada ya.
@mcJ040916 – THAT IS FUNNY! My poor MOH probably feels the same way.
Post # 10
@MsDIY: lol I refer to the poster often. Sometimes I start to have second thoughts and then I remember no one is going to notice that the orchids are two different sizes on my centerpiece! Only I’ll know and thats okay. As long as I’m married to my FI by the end of the day thats all that matters.
My FI even told me “Hippos we can get married in the back of alley for all I care…the only thing that matters is that at the end of they I can call you my wife.” After recovering from melting, I had to agree 🙂
@happyface: I like it too…because its so true!
Post # 11
I have dealt with this too. So much so that last month we decided suddenly that we didn’t want to wait to be married anymore, and if that meant we had to give up a wedding in a certain destination, then so be it. We decided on the month we wanted to get married in and I just went for it. Within a week I put down a non-refundable deposit on our ceremony site and date. And just like that, my wedding destination had been decided.
I’ve just been going with my gut. As soon as I put money towards something, I don’t let myself question it anymore. I simply ignore my panic, lol. It really helps to purchase something as soon as I’m “sure” I want it, because I know I won’t let myself question it again once I do.
My advice to you would be to narrow down things to two options, and give yourself as much time as needed until you first feel confident in your choice. AS SOON as you feel “sure,” buy/book it and don’t think about it again. If you do, then just repeatedly tell yourself that it’s already been done and there’s no going back and start thinking about something else.
If I didn’t listen to my gut, I’d be getting married locally because I would panic at the thought of getting married in a foreign country. But the moment I felt that I truly wanted to do it, I booked our ceremony site as soon as I could and I refuse to let myself panic about it anymore. If I do, I just ignore it and tell myself, “What’s done is done.”
Also, letting your fiance know which option you like better and asking them to keep you on that track to keeping it can help a lot. My fiance has helped me multiple of times when I’d start to worry about my decision and he would be my rock and reassure me that I did what I really wanted (this was before I started not letting myself question things).
Post # 12
ME! Most recent example – we went to look at cakes yesterday and I came home with a headache and even less of an idea of what I might actually like lol. My wedding dress was not so bad – there were 5 that I liked that I managed to get down to 2 then spent a while deciding which was the one. Everything else I am hopeless on and it’s stressing me out gaaaaah!
Post # 13
@MsDIY: I already changed my shoes, lol! And I am still debating!
Post # 14
For some reason I wasn’t getting updates about new post here:)
Thank you bees for making me feel better about my indecisiveness!!
@FutureMrsHoneybee — that is awesome advice! This week was a bit of a battle with my indecisiveness because I finally picked my invites and shoes, but boy was that a challenge…lol. I have just told myself what’s done is DONE…like you said:) I check it off the list and move on as if that is/was the only option in the world…! So far, so good… !
@Spoonie — we haven’t finalized our cake flavor yet either, but we are doing desserts as well and I’m hoping it will alleviate some of my indecisiveness since I get to choose between a few different options…lol. The trouble comes when I can only pick ONE of something:/
@aheavel… shoes… I literally picked my shoes this week after I decided I was done returning things/and spending money on shipping! Lol. I tried to think of other bride’s shoes from weddings I have attended and I couldn’t remember not ONE pair… so I asked myself why I was stressing so much over something no one will really even notice!