Post # 1
I am well aware that this petty and there are more important things to worry about… But this had been bugging me since yesterday so please bear with me! So I have been thinking about getting a short white lace dress for the rehearsal dinner. Yesterday my bridesmaid excitedly tells me that she has bought a short white lace dress towear to my rehearsal dinner. I know she is not trying to be malicious or mean in any way, she just didn’t think about it . So now I feel like I can’t wear what I wanted or we will be matching and she will probably feel bad when she realizes. I also don’t really want to talk to her because she will feel bad. Do I mention it? Or just leave it alone? 🙁
Post # 3
maybe briefly mention that you were hoping to wear a short white lace dress 🙂
Post # 4
I’d leave it alone. No one will think twice about it, so don’t stress over it.
Post # 5
I would mention it; maybe do it in a light/jokey way like ‘Oh man! I was going to wear a white lace dress!’ and hopefully she’ll get the hint.
Post # 6
@fishbone: I’m not really worried about what others think, I’m more sad that this is one of the few occasions I would ever wear such a dress, and I think they are adorable, but now I feel like I can’t wear one. My friend’s feelings are also really important to me too and I know that if she realized it bothers me she will feel horrible
Post # 7
Hmm this is a huge fashion trend right now, I currently have on a short cream lace dress at work so this is obviously not a ‘wedding’ related trend. It’s more of a boho trend.
I would just talk to her and let her know your plans and ask kindly if she would consider a different outfit just for the one night so you aren’t matching. If you have a problem with it then you need to talk to her about it. She’s not a mind reader and cant possibly know what you are planning on wearing. I would be surprised if she is upset. It’s quite a small but understandable thing.
Post # 8
I don’t think she’d feel horrible; maybe a bit embarrassed at not thinking, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.
If I was in her shoes, I would want you to say something; and as soon as you mentioned it, I’d apologise for not thinking and pick another outfit.
Post # 9
I would leave it alone, everyone knows your the bride anyway…
Post # 10
@barbie86: Actually she probably will feel really bad. I know my friend, she’s pretty sensitive to the feelings of others and really upset if she unknowingly upsets someone. And like I said its not about people knowing I’m the bride. It’s about not getting to wear what I want, or be a twin.
Post # 11
@barbie86: Agree with this.
This seems slightly clueless on her part, lol. I’m thinking – who would do that – wear anything white and lacy for any dinner/event for someone else’s wedding? Seems “duh” to me that you just don’t do that.
Post # 12
I wouldnt mention it and wear what you want. No one will be comparing notes on the two dresses and there are so many variations of white dresses it won’t look planned.
Post # 13
Maybe you could say something about how you know she was planning on wearing a short lace dress and you’ve decided you want to wear something similar. Go about it asking what particular dress she is wearing and as if you want to make sure you aren’t wearing the exact same dress. Make it clear that you don’t mind if she wears a similar dress (it seems like you don’t) but you just don’t want to look like twins.
That way she knows she can wear what she wants but won’t be suprised if you look similar.
Post # 14
I think you should wear the dress you want to wear, and not worry about it. If it seems like it’s awkward for her and the dresses are really similar, just make a joke of it, like hug her and say, “Look, we’re twins!” or something silly. “White and lacey” covers a lot of ground, so they could be completely different looking.
Post # 15
I think you should wear your white lace dress. Maybe just give her a heads up and say I know you said you were wearing x dress, I was planning on wearing one, too – can I see yours to make sure we aren’t wearing the same dress?
Maybe she’ll get that hint and choose something else – from the sounds of it, she seems like she will.
Post # 16
I see you’re having a Destination Wedding… she was probably just thinking “beachy dressy”, which often is a white dress. And since lace is very “in”, that’s probably just what she found in the stores that was nicer than a sundress but still tropical. I would just say hey, I was actually hoping to wear a white lace dress to the rehearsal would you be okay with trying to wear a different outfit? It’s the one time in your life that you’re allowed to be petty, I really don’t think it’ll be a big deal. She might be embarrassed, but it sounds like you guys have a good open friendship so I’m sure it’ll all be fine.