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I've heard that having it in a restaurant can help to lower the cost dramatically as long as you get the food there. Maybe you could get a quote from one.
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try the metropolitan building in LIC, it's really pretty and has a room that holds up to 200 for a ceremony and reception (they also have a bigger one). All of the magazines tell you that it costs $6,500 just for the space, but that's only if you use an outside caterer. If you use their in house person (who has a good reputation), it's more along the lines of $150 (for everything except alcohol, cake, music & flowers) per person with no site fee. That may wind up being a litle more than you want, but it's pretty close and I get the sense that they're willing to work with you on the budget end of things. You pretty much have to show up in person to get anything negotiated, fyi.
The Manhattan Penthouse is $140/pp, $5000 fee- this includes alcohol so not sure if it would work. They also might have minimums for popular dates.
I know a bunch of places on LI and upstate (1 hour outside manhattan) if you are interested.
3 West Club (right across the street from Rockefeller Center) is very reasonable, and can fit up to something like 160 with dancing in their ballroom. Mrs Snowpea had her reception there; she's written a great review in some of her posts and in a wiki page.
There is no site fee for just a reception, but they will charge ~$750 to have the ceremony on site. Per person starts at $125 pp for peak days, and that includes premium bar (but only one entree choice -- a choice of 2 entrees raises the pp price by about $5). This is a tad higher than your stated budget, but it does include alcohol, so it might be worth it.
One thing to keep in mind when you're looking at the reception is all the hidden costs - bartenders, coat check, security, etc. That kind of stuff usually doesn't show up in the initial per-person quote.
I have a friend who had her reception at Gary's Loft. I dont know how much it was but it was lovely and seemed affordable.
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OK, so if it's not at all out of the question, I want to suggestArthur's Landing in Weehawken, NJ. I had a very NYC wedding in May (St. Bart's/Ceremony), filled with all NYC photography but I wanted to have a skyline view of my venue so I chose thie place.
I have to say it was amazing and the catering manager, Jody Reynolds was amazing to us. The photos looked so grand, and the place was inexpensive. Food was great and you can have the top floor to yourself. PM me if you want more information and tell them Annette sent you. 
Not to be a total self-promoter here, but in the course of my ongoing, never-ending Manhattan venue search I decided to start a wedding blog to write about all of the places I have looked at as well as about the search process, wedding books, wedding news (actual news related to weddings), etc. I'd love it if you gals would check it out -- and of course, post comments and pass on my blog site to others. Here it is: www.weddingscoops.blogspot.com
I think you should look out on Long Island. Almost all the places cover the whole deal in terms of food, cake, open bar, linens/plates, chairs/chair covers etc. They also usually include valet parking, day of coordinator and a bridal attendant.
My wedding is at Westbury Manor which will include our outdoor weddng ceremony complete with wandering peacocks! They're including the tulling, aisle runner, ceremony flowers and even cocktail flowers. They even give direction cards, place cards and menus included. Indoor reception and option of outdoor/indoor cocktail hour. We also have a choice of 7 entrees that are made to order and an amazing selection of cocktail hour food.
So I think you should really consider Long Island! I was looking around NYC and nothing compared in terms of such a cohesive deal. You still can bring in your own DJ and florist, etc.
On a peak day, depending on the venue on the island it could run you from $85-125 pp. I'm doing it on an off day, Thursday and I'm getting it all for $63 pp. So I'm actually coming under my $10K budget. Hope it helps!!
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We are trying to pull off a wedding next spring in NYC and want to see if it is at all feasible with our budget. Is it possible to cover the ceremony/reception site fee and catering (excluding alcohol, but including food, linens, chairs, plates, etc) for $12-15K in NYC for a Saturday evening wedding for approx. 125 people? If so, what venues do you suggest (indoor please)? We are open to Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Bronxville, etc... Any ideas would be great! Thanks!