infamous "to invite or not to invite" question

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Would you invite her?
    Invite her : (3 votes)
    6 %
    Don't invite her and explain why : (4 votes)
    9 %
    Don't invite her and no need to explain : (40 votes)
    85 %
  • Post # 3
    1802 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Personally, I would not invite her and not contact her about not inviting her. If she contacts you asking why or complaining after your wedding is over just tell her that you were considering sending her a save the date before she made that phone call. I think it is just ridiculous that she freaked out on you like that.

    You say you think she truly wants to come to your wedding, but to me it actually doesn’t sound like she has good intentions behind her reasons for wanting to come. If she really wanted to be a part of your life or be more of a friend she would have been working on contacting you BEFORE your wedding. A lot of people don’t want to be left out when they find out that other friends are invited to something and they aren’t. It’s so elementary school. Just think back to how it felt to not receive an invitation to a birthday party that one of your friends was going to.

    Post # 4
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I wouldn’t bother contacting her. That was way out of line. 

    Post # 5
    6951 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @helpabeeoutplease:  Nope. Anyone who needs to “demand” an invitation is probably someone you shouldn’t invite anyway. Mental illness or not, she is way out of line. 

    Post # 6
    830 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @helpabeeoutplease:  Just answer this: Do you really want her there?

    If so, great, invite her.

    If not, then don’t. Blame it on the venue restrictions.

    It’s kinda shit that some people lose friends when they don’t invite them to weddings, but I guess that’s just the way some people are. Consider that you may lose her as a friend, and decide how much it would really matter to you if you did.

    Post # 7
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    @ksus07:  Yep. That’s the real question.

    She sounds like a bit of a nightmare, but if you want her there, invite her!

    Post # 9
    1952 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Don’t invite her. If she asks why, tell her the truth. Or tell her that you’re making cuts to the guest list.

    Post # 10
    610 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @helpabeeoutplease:  It’s hard to say without knowing the history of your friendship.  If you’ve shared a lot of good times and remember her fondly then I’d invite her.  People go through various hardships in their life and distance themselves.  I find that happy events such as weddings and babies help to bring people back together.  Having a mental illness is a part of who she is but it surely can’t be the whole picture of your friendship.

    Post # 11
    6525 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @helpabeeoutplease:  I wouldn’t invite her because she assumed she wasn’t invited. 

    Secondly, if you invite her she is going to think you invited her because of her tantrum. Its a lose-lose situation. 

    You wedding day should be a happy one, no need for people like her to be there

    Post # 12
    133 posts
    Blushing bee

    Honestly, if you’re having to question whether or not to invite someone, I would probably just not invite them. And there is never a need to tell someone that they are not invited. If they ask, which is very rude to do on their part, just tell them you had venue restrictions and kept it to a smaller affair.

    Post # 13
    2315 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    If you don’t want her there, then don’t have her…simple as that. You don’t want her and neither does your fiancé. 

    I don’t think you need to owe her an explanation but if she asks for one then I would say, sorry but there is a limit on space and I haven’t seen you for a while. 

    Post # 14
    1491 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    People who love you would not be demanding an invitation, this reflects poorly on them and it makes them selfish. It’s almost as if they seek validation for being invited. You have to be ready to lose some friends this way and she doesn’t sound like much of a keeper

    Post # 15
    1242 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    @helpabeeoutplease:  Weddings make people crazy. Not just the bride but also the guests. People get super offended by… even the smallest things. One of my friends had a VERY small wedding, with a very limited budget. Her rule about guests was, if you had not met her son, you weren’t invited. End of story.

    A good friend of ours, who had not met this friend’s year old son got SUPER offended and stop speaking to this girl… and they are no longer friends.

    Basically, I think that if you were planning on inviting her before this outburst, just invite her.

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