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I have no words of advice, I haven't gone through anything even close to that, but I am praying for you, your siste, your dad, your nephew... just your whole family.
I can only imagine how your sister must be feeling. It's one thing to make a mistake, but if you realize that the mistake you made may permanently change the life of your child, I feel as though it would be hell.
Do keep us as updated as you can - things such as these are so hard to endure alone, and if your family is keeping it hush hush at least you can have us 'internet strangers' to confide in.
All the best!
You didn't give all the details, but first- Did your Dad tell you that your sister slept around when she was pregnant?
Most people who have chlamydia have NO symptoms, so she may have had the infection for a long time and did not have it treated because she didn't know she had it.
There are so many unfair things in life. When things happen to children its just sad. I would imagine your sister feels pretty terrible about what resulted from her actions so I don't think she needs the reminder from you. Good news for baby is that it seems like it was caught very soon and usually babys can receive strong doses of antibiotics. Blindness usually only occurs if the symptons have gone untreated for a long time. Keeping the little guy in my thoughts!
I'm sorry, that really isnt fair to your little nephew on the way.
I think right now, your best bet is to avoid your sister. I would have a hard time being fake nice knowing what you know. I would just avoid it until you see what happens.
Best of luck, hopefully it all works out.
As pp stated, chlamydia has no symptoms for many. She could have only slept with the baby's father and contracted it from him. She may not have known, and he may not have known either. So, first off, don't blame your sister or anyone else! Now, don't you think your sister feels bad about this already? What would your being mad at her do to help the situation? It would only make things harder for her. She probably already feels terribly guilty. Just keep quiet, hope your nephew turns out okay, and be supportive to your sis and nephew if things don't go as you hope.
Life happens to all of us!
@2ndtime: Yeah, I agree with you.
OP, I'm kinda glad that you have had time to accept it and process it, so that you aren't harsh to your sister. I would wait to hear it from her, and hope that she got it beforehand and it just showed up while she was pregnant. Its really sad, but I'm sure she feels like shit about it, so no need to kick her while she's down. I can totally understand your feelings though, which I'm really glad you found out beforehand, like I said before.
Just be there for her, and help her whenever you can, however she needs you to. Keep us updated. ((HUGS))
OP, it's good to vent but like the others say, she could have contracted from the baby's father and sometimes, those infected don't sense anything weird or different. There may be other circumstances surrounding how she was infected. Someone close to me recently was sexually assaulted and contracted chlamydia. I just hope everything works out for your nephew. Good thing is chlamydia is treatable! Just try to come at it from an open mind.
Wow! I am at a loss for words right now. I agree that chlamydia can hide for a long while. I know becaause I was given the "loving gift" from my ex-husband. (One of the many reasons he's an ex.) Thankfully it was caught in my yearly check up and cured immediately. (And I have been clear for the last 12 years since.)
All I can thinnk to do now is pray for all of you and send loving healing thoughts for your little nephew.
Sorry, I guess I should clarify:
I know she was sleeping around because I'm rather close to my sister, so I knew who she was seeing while she was pregnant. She slept with the baby's father, as well as one of her ex-boyfriends (who we suspect she got it from)
She was also tested shortly after her daughter was born, as her ex-boyfriend found out he had it, and she was worried she or her daughter might have it. This was about a year ago, so she has contracted it at some point in the past year (9 months of which she was pregnant)
So it is possible that she got it from the baby's father, but it's just as likely she got it from her ex, who has had it before.
And either way it's hard to tell, because even if she got it from one of them, she could have given it to the other, so all 3 parties involved may have it now.
So, yeah... I'm not saying she's a bad person or that I hate her or anything, and I'm aware that it's one of the most common STD's to get, but it's still frustrating.
Nobody EVER deserves to get sick. I'm sure that nobody feels worse about this situation than your sister. She needs your support right now more than ever.
i'm so sorry to hear this. that is so unfair and unfortunate for your nephew. it's horrible when things like this happen to innocent little children...he doesn't deserve to go through that.
i've never been through a situation like this, but my advice would be that if you can, to not say anything to her about it until she tells you or it's common knowledge within your family. since your dad wasn't supposed to say anything, saying something to her about it now will put him in a really weird position. also when you do talk to her about it try not to get angry - it won't help the situation one bit, and what she and her son probably need most is some support from the people that love them. i understand why you would be livid with her (i would definitely want to go off on her...), but try to put your best face forward for now.
Chlamydia is highly treatable and if docs know to monitor for pneumonia and treat him with the regular eye ointment at birth, the baby shouldn't have any problems.
This really should be just between your sister and her doctor. If she is treated this should not be a problem for the little one.
I know that I was tested twice for STD's during this pregnancy as a routine precaution-once in the first trimester and once in the 3rd. So your sister may very well know that her window of contracting it was more narrow than you might suspect. Either way, whats done is done as far as her contracting it and passing it on. What I would be concerned with is her taking the necessary treatment steps to have it properly addressed in your nephew. Hopefully, her choosing to be risky in her pregnancy is not a great indicator of how she will be in the future with your nephew's health.
@Mrs. DG: This really should be just between your sister and her doctor. If she is treated this should not be a problem for the little one.
I totally agree.
I agree that that particular STD doesnt have symptoms for a long time but you are tested when you get pregnant before you go through labor etc. So if she passed that test and got it later thats on her for not being carful (that came out more harsh than I meant it, but its true.) I think you need to just be there for her once you get officially told. Being angry isnt going to make anything better or change the situation at hand. More than anything she is probably angry at herself.. Moms are like that even if its not their fault they still feel to blame when something happenes to their children. So I understand why youare upset and I think you have every right to be because life is just so unfair sometimes.
@Mrs. DG: I agree with Mrs.DG. Chlamydia is the most commonly contracted STD amongst Americans. The antibiotic that reats Chlamydia is actually cleared for pregnant women by doctors. My point being, unfortunately women get Chlamydia while pregnant often enough for them to have a readily available treatment. Especially since the doctors have knowledge of her infection now, the very first thing they do is to put medicine in the eyes and check the lungs for fluid. Your nephew will be just fine :)
@notmyrealbeename: Hold on. I am a bit confused. Did your sister have a girl or a boy?
i'm so sorry. here is my advice,
whatever happened happened. Being angry or being upset wont fix anything. I think your sister and family need support and love through this tough situation. Be strong. Also, pray about it. Miracles still happen ;]
@heather25: she had a daughter a year ago, then Little Man last month. Clearly safe sex isn't her strong suit.
Personally I wouldn't say anything to her about how awful it is that her son may have effects from it - she already knows that and probably feels terrible already - so I doubt you have to tell her it's a bad thing (unless she's a huge flake).
Also he may not have any side effects and pneumonia can be treated with antibiodics (our son had it). I'd say just wait and see before saying anything to her - what's done is done so hopefully she'll learn from her mistake and it won't effect her child.
Just an update: I know she took him to the doctor yesterday (my Dad informed me) but nothing has been mentioned to me about what they found. So I'm going to assume that no news is good news. If I know my sister at all, she isn't really planning to mention it to people unless something is actually wrong.
So, for now, I think I'm just going to let it all go, and just see what happens.
the blindness is the extremem case. he may have a few health problems but the dr is supposed to test for all that every appointment. thats why they have you pee in a cup is to test for stds and drugs (even though they only say its for protein)
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First of all, this is obviously not my regular username- The people I mention in this post are also visible in my wedding recap photos, and I want to keep their business private.
Also, I will warn in advance, I won't be replying often for the next couple days- we just moved and I'm stealing Wi-Fi until ours is hooked up.... so it's hit or miss.
Anyway, yesterday I got some very upsetting news from my dad, which I'm not even supposed to know so I can't saying anything to anybody involved about it.
Long story short, my sister got Chlamydia while she was pregnant, and my nephew contracted it. She's taking him to the doctor today, but there is a risk that he may get pneumonia or go blind.
My dad told me last night over the phone even though he wasn't supposed to (I think she's wanting to keep it hush-hush until after she sees the doctor and knows more) but I just lost it.
I obviously told DH because I couldn't just deal with it alone, and I spent a good hour crying and just going on about how unfair it is and how he's just a baby and didn't do anything wrong.
Really, there's not much I can do. That's the frustrating part. I'm angry at my sister for sleeping around while she was pregnant, sad that my nephew may have to live with her mistake, and frustrated that I just have to sit and wait for my dad to secretly text me to let me know what's going on.
Also, I'm totally confused about how to handle it once I am "officially" told what's going on... Am I supposed to get angry with my sister? Am I supposed to be loving and supportive and just "be there" for her? I just don't know how I feel right now.
Anyway, I could just use comments of support, and definitely prayers for my sweet little nephew. (Or send good thoughts, if you're not the praying kind of person).