Post # 1
So the FI and I have decided that we want children at the wedding….especially since I come from a huge Italian family where my dad is 1 of 14, so I have a lot of cousins of all ages. The thing is a lot of our friends are at the stage where they have infants and there will be a multitude of children who will be 1 or less on the day of our wedding. We want children to be at the wedding but do not want people bringing their infants for a variety of reasons.
Is there some way we can word invitations or let people know without coming off as awful people?
Post # 3
Can you set an age limit? Then that can be your blanket-response to inquiries about the infants? What age is the youngest child who is invited who isn’t an infant?
Post # 4
I’m not sure you can really ask people not to bring their infants. Even if you have a no children policy, breasfeeding mothers still should be able to bring infants, so I’m not sure how you can say don’t bring your babies, but your kids are OK without sounding and stirring up some emotions.
Post # 5
The youngest child that would be there will be 7.
Post # 6
I think you have to pick one way or the other and either allow all of the kids or none of them. And honestly, an infant is much less likely to be disruptive (or even noticed) than a crazy three year old.
Post # 7
Whoa, that’s a lotta people! I can’t believe your dad has 13 siblings =]. You could always say “children age 1-16 are welcome!” but, i’m not sure that comes across nicely. I don’t know how you’ll say “no children under 1” because that sorta makes it tough….really young babies are still primarily breastfeeding. Maybe if you don’t have any 2 month olds it won’t be a problem then. If it’s only a couple of people, could you spread the news through the grapevine? We had one friend with a 5 month old and we just nicely mentioned we weren’t having kids at our wedding–he put his hands up and said, “no worries, we’ll get a babysitter” and there were absolutely no hard feelings.
Post # 8
We just didn’t say anything and the parents made other arrangements for infants on their own. I know it’s kind of like rolling the dice, but the parents will eventually ask you or someone involved in your wedding planning about a child seat or whatever, and at that time you can say that the venue doesn’t accomodate infants, but there will be a kids table for 5years + or whatever.
Post # 9
If you had to, you could just make that—children 7 and up— your policy. The kids + weddings thing is always really tricky.
Address the invites (the inner envelope) only to those invited, and when you get questions, you can pull out your policy.
Like mcnetn3 said, this is a sensitive topic. I’m not saying whether you should or should not allow infants—I’m just suggesting that you think about the decision closely and be sure you can stand your ground. 🙂 Good luck!
Post # 10
HAHA, we’re doing no kids EXCEPT nursing infants….
I’m a wedding photographer and I see infants all the time. I’ve never seen one disrupt a wedding. You can’t allow children but not infants, and I personally feel that you can’t ask parents to not bring an infant. Unless you’re OK with them not attending.
I would think you’re crazy if you said children were allowed but not babies… the ones parents are most likely NOT to have babysat…
Post # 11
Thanks everyone for the advice. It is a touchy subject and we don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or hurt anyone’s feelings. That is far from what we want to do. Right now we are just thinking of options and putting our feelers out.
Post # 12
Whatever you do end up doing, stick to your guns on. Even if people don’t agree with the decision you made, you have to be prepared to stick to it. Because if you make one exception, all others will feel offended by it. Espeically when it comes to people and their kids, emotions can run wild. Good Luck!
Post # 13
What about just putting something out there that says, “We are providing a room in the back of the church (or where ever) to provide a place for children that may become disruptive during the ceremony. We appreciate your consideration as we take our solemn vows.”
Post # 14
You really shouldn’t point out who is NOT invited… just address the invites to those who are actually invited and on the response card say “___ seats reserved for XXXX” and fill in the number.