Weddingbee boards

@heathaah: I'm going to start off by saying that I'm pretty religious. I go to church every Sunday, and I pray to God every night. Sometimes it's really hard to see that God is doing his will, and it's even more difficult to watch people who don't deserve to have children neglect them. I'm a very firm believer that God does everything for a reason.

Though you might be struggling with infertility now, God might have other plans for you. There might be a baby out there somewhere that needs you more than a baby you can have yourself. I know that's not as comforting, but it's what I try to tell myself each day. We had only been trying for 8 months, so I can't begin to tell you that I know how you feel, but I was also starting to get frustrated. Then, when I got pregnant, I was over the moon...until our doctor's visit this past Monday when they told me that I would likely miscarry in the next 2 weeks. I've often sat there and wondered why God was making me deal with this kind of loss and frustration. I know that if this baby isn't right for us right now, he'll give me a baby at some point. It might not be naturally or biologically my baby, but he will give me a baby.

I know it's not easy to just have faith like that, and it's even more difficult to go through it and have to listen to everyone tell you that God gives babies to good people...but he does. It just might not be in the way that you're expecting.

I don't believe the:  "God gives babies to people that deserve them" logic - AT ALL.

That fuzzy logic, at it's best.  What do you say to the couple who's child dies - did they not 'deserve' to be parents?   That kind of talk makes me so angry and I'm sorry that people are saying that to you!  Friends and family mean well, but that doesn't mean that they are right.

There's nothing we can do that makes God love us more or love us less.  It's who God is - it's not about anything WE do. 

A good friend of mine is also struggling with infertility (for 24 months now...) - the thing that keeps her going is embracing the fact that God's timing is perfect.  It's often not our timing, but it's His and it's His to control.  She also wondered if there was something wrong biologically and not getting pregnant was God's grace to her in not being sure how she'd handle a child with disabilities.

There are so many unknowns when it comes to why things happen or not happen.  I'd encourage you to not lose faith and continue to pray to Him, releasing it into His hands, and asking for peace as you wait.