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This is a continuation of this thread.
It looks like my last post didn't go up on that thread, and now I can't remember what I wrote!
We are taking a month off, only 2 more weeks until our consultation at the new office! Hopefully they will be able to start a new treatment soon, but I am preparing myself for another month off.
So where is everyone else at in their journey?
@sweetkate: Good thinking! That one was on about page 19 and not sure if there is a limit.
Its been awhile since I've posted bc I've been trying not to think so much about TTC but I've been reading still and praying for everyone. I am officially in my 2WW of my 3rd and final round of Clomid but I don't feel any hope for this one and actually have an appt with the RE on 3/9/11, the day I am suppose to start (but I have been coming early with each round of Clomid). DH and I were only able to BD once, this entire fertile period, on my +opk day bc I was so sick and then he become severly ill. Plus I messed my pills up and missed a day, but took it the next. Still got my positive OPK and felt the ovulation pain but won't know for sure if it still worked until Friday when I get my progesterone levels checked.
I am not sure if the RE will be able to do anyting right away so we will probably take this month off but we will see. We defintely sat down and talked at length and DH and I decided how far we are willing to go. We will stop when IVF is our only option. We worked too hard to get where we are financially to spend so much of our savings towards that when there is no gaurantee.
Hope everyone is doing well!
Oh man this Metformin is making me so sick. My stomach is constantly bubbling. I feel so weak too. Tell me it gets better!!! I am on two pills a day, morning and evening with food. Saturday I begin taking 3 pills. At what point do I call the RE and say enough??
@heathaah: Yuck! My last RE talked about putting me on Metformin but never did. I have a strong feeling I will be joining you soon in taking it though... Unless I can get 10lbs off in the next two weeks which I don't think is going to happen. Hopefully your system gets used to it soon and you feel better!
@MissGreen: Good luck at your appointment! You might be suprised, they might be able to start you on something fairly quickly. There were a couple times I would go in and the Clomid didn't work so they would just start me on a new dose that same day.
I'm almost a week into my two week course of progesterone to get my period on the way- I was going on day 40-something and I think my doctor was tired of reading my complaining emails. I have a consult with the doctor on March 18th (couldn't get in earlier, but I'm calling to check and see if he has any cancellations) to get my on Clomid. I'm not showing any ovulation signs except for positive OPKs, and even those have disappeared since November. On top of it, I just found out that my husband's friend just knocked up his girlfriend on accident. Bleh.
Oh I forgot to re-post what didn't show up on the other thread...
Rosie Girl wanted to know what FUN things we were doing during our waits! Well, the hubs and I are planning a ski trip!! I haven't skied in 18 years!! SCAAAAAARRYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
@heathaah: Sounds like fun! I'm too much of a klutz to try skiing or snowboarding. I fractured my foot just walking in the snow!
As for fun things I've been doing, not much! We just moved so we haven't had much time to do anything. Although I have been dipping into our stash of wine and good beer. =)
Hi ladies! I have good news, kind of. I have a period - on my own - on time!!!! It's literally only been 32 days since my last one! I am so excited that I had one without any medical help, and in a timely manner! The last time I even had one on my own w/o help was when I went off BCP over a year ago, and those were like 44 days apart. So, things could be looking up! DH is going to his doctor today to discuss next steps in fixing him.
Good luck with everything girls!!
Heathaah: I PM you about this thread, so don't worry about it!!!! A ski trip would be so fun!!! I am with Sweetkate though, walking in the snow is dangerous enough for me!
Candy Nee: YAY! That is so exciting!!!!! Funny how getting a reg period on time can make you so happy :) I hope your DH appt goes well and everything gets fixed soon.
I got this email today at work, asking to donate some of our vacation time to this lady that works in our company. Here is part of the email:
Corrisa B works in the AR department at the Administrative office. Recently, she had an emergency c-section for twin girls. This resulted in the birth of one twin. Unfortunately, due to major unforeseen complications, she suffered the loss of the other twin.
If I had some vacation time, I would give it to her in a heartbeat! I can't imagine how she is feeling. Makes me so sad.
@heathaah, I had some serious stomach issues when I started on the Metformin, but as long as I eat enough when I take them, I'm OK now. Have you tried upping your food intake at breakfast and dinner and maybe eating a very light lunch?
Update: DH's appointment went pretty good. All his blood work came back fine - hormones, gentetics, etc. The next step is to do the biopsy. There are 2 different ways to handle this 1- do the biopsy then go back later to either fix the blockage (if there is one) or harvest the sperm for insemination or 2 - while doing the biopsy, go ahead and harvest for insemination. We're going with option 1 for a few reasons. A big one being my insurance doesn't cover insemination and that's crazy expensive. The other being that if it's just a blockage, we'd rather go ahead and get it fixed. It'll be a long term solution to the issue. We've already waited so long, a few more months won't kill us. So, all in all, not too bad.
@Rosie Girl: I was just about to write back! Glad you found us!! We can't figure out what happened with the last thread. I'm so sad for that lady at your work. I can't even imagine.
@bunny: No, I have not tried that...but I will! Thanks!!
@Candy_Nee: I can't imagine how thrilled I would be to get an on-time period on my own! That is just awesome!!!!! I am glad his appointment went well. I would have chosen option 1 also.
So I went to Walmart today and had the most embarrassing shopping cart: Ginger ale, saltines, and butt wipes!! I had to throw some random things in there just so my problem wasn't so obvious!!
@Candy_Nee: Yay for your period! It's so funny to think what kind of things excite me now that I'm TTC. When would we have ever been excited about our periods in the past
@heathaah: I promise the Metformin will get easier. I'm telling you, the day I upped my dose to 3 at a time, I had to call in sick the next day to work. Not pretty. That's when I started breaking up my doeses.
Thanks for all your excitement about AF ladies! Ya'll are the best!
Candy Nee: I am glad that your husbands appt went well! I think you guys are doing the right thing. Hopefully its goes quickly and easily.
Heathaah: that made me laugh! I've had carts like that too, and the worst part is when its only a male checking out, and then it never fails you see someone you know! I hope you start feeling better soon.
@Rosie Girl: I actually chose the aisle with a dumb looking 16-or-so year-old cashier, thinking maybe he wouldn't "get it!" :) Funny thing is, I bought a few bottles of hand soap (even though we were not running low) because I thought it would make the total package less gross if the people knew I washed my hands!! I put way too much thought into it!!
Hi. Cycle 11 of trying has ended. AF showed up this evening. I literally cannot stop crying. I've been crying for 2 hours straight. I can't handle this anymore. My entire life is defined by whether or not we're trying or waiting or looking for swollen breasts. I spend my days reading every post on this board trying to convince myself that my nausea is from pregnancy and not from the horrible anxiety the grips me for days before my period shows up. We bought a big house this year to house the children that we plan to have, but I can't seem to get pregnant. Every day i ignore the room that we planned would one day be the nursery. I feel like a complete failure. Not only because I can't get pregnant, but because I have allowed this to define my life and I'm miserable. I'm making my husband miserable. I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am right now. I don't even know how to finish this post, but I need your help.
@sacbride10: OH, sweetie, I am so sorry!!! I was in the same place you are a few months ago. It was on the heels of another failed round of meds followed by hearing of 2 pregnancies in a row. DH and I got into a huge fight about how I wasn't myself anymore and how it was hurting our marriage. It was then that I just had to take a step back and look at the big picture. I know we'll have our baby. Will it be when I want it? Obviously not, otherwise I'd be pregnant right now. You just have to have faith that it WILL happen. ANd, the more you stress out about it, the more that hurts your body and makes it even harder to conceive. I've taken a few months off of actively TTC and it has done miracles. I am less stressed and upset, DH and I are getting along so much better, things are more relaxed and fun. As hard as it will be, maybe take a month off. Stop defining yourself by your period and ovulating and having trouble TTC. Define yourself as YOU - wife to your husband and someone who will one day be a great mom.
@sacbride10: I am so sorry. I want to give you this piece of advice that has helped me...Stop counting the number of failed cycles. It makes it feel worse. Just lose track of it and think of one cycle at a time. Look forward, not backwards. I know it is easier said than done, but I promise it helps. AND YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! Not even a little bit. Most people would not have the strength to be this persistant! You will have a baby. I obsess over it too, but I have found that I can be easily distracted by new, interesting hobbies. Go buy some beads and try jewelry making...then wear your creations out for wine and dinner! I have also begun re-doing different rooms in our house. I made an office for myself (for almost free with a desk donated by my brother!!) and we are redoing our bathrooms. Or just learn something new...I have dabbled in so much "stuff" since TTC, and though at times I completely lose my shit, it helps sooo much! The hubs and I also play at lot of boardgames (parcheesi, scrabble, sequence) just to relax and have fun and get our minds off things for a while.
I just wanted to pop in and say that I'm sending positive thoughts your way.
@TheFutureMcBride: Thank you!!
I so wish we could have an "Infertility thread meet-up!" Here is my plan...
We could sit around for like 15 minutes (MAX!) and vent about TTC then go have fun! We would shop for clothes we look good in (since we have small bellies!) and heels we can walk in (because we still have balance!). Then we can get manicures/pedicures (oh, the chemicals!!) and massages (not pre-natal ones!). Then we can go out for dinner and drink tons of wine!!!!!
Should we start looking for cheap flights?? :)
@sacbride10: I am so sorry. I know it is so hard and frustrating and feels like you are failing. I also know that it is really trying on a marriage, but you have to try to relax. Worry and stress is only going to make is harder. Like Heathaah said, try to find things to do to take your mind off of it. If you plan ahead and get excited about something it makes it a little easier. For example, I know that Heathaah is planning a ski trip, and my hubby and I are going to go out dancing. If you can get excited about doing something other than trying and counting days and such, it helps take your mind off it a little. And you aren't alone, as this thread proves. Try to find something for you to do, like a wine tasting (which if you were pregnant you couldn't do!) and get excited about it. I started knitting too, and scrapbooking more. We are all here for you and understand your feelings. You aren't alone and you aren't a failure.
Heathaah: I second that!!!!! And we can dance the night away since we don't have to get up in the middle night with a baby and we have the energy to do so!
So, I went shopping and bought this REALLY cute pair of black boots (which, if I were pregnant, I probably couldn't wear!), and I tried on the 7.5 and 7. I bought the 7, wore them around the house and they were just a little tight, so I took them back and exchanged them for the 7.5. I didn't even look at them or anything, becuase I knew they would fit. So I went to put them on this morning, and I have 2 left feet!!!! I called the store and they have the 2 rights to go with them, so I have to go up there again and get the right shoe!
Thank you all for your support. I feel better this morning. Everything always seems worse when it's night and the rain is pouring down and it seems like the light of day will never come. I'm still upset, but we'll get through this. I have the lab slip to get my day 3 hormone levels (FSH, estradiol) tomorrow. DH has an appointment to have his boys checked next week. In the meantime I'm going to gorge on sushi and beer tonight. And next weekend there is a big wine tasting in Sonoma. $20 and you can go to as many wineries as you can over the course of the whole weekend(100+ wineries are participating). Now I just need a driver... :)
@sacbride10: Its always hard when AF comes. Like the other ladies have said, a hobby really helps. Let us know how all your tests go! And that trip to Sonoma sounds fantastic! I wish we could go since we aren't far from there but I am hosting a baby shower that weekend.
@Rosie Girl: How frustrating! All the places I have bought shoes at check the box before we check out.
@heathaah: I think that is a fabulous idea too! We have friends getting married in New Hampshire in September...
@sacbride10: Sonoma wine tasting sounds fabulous!
I was having a down time earlier this month and my husband said he would take over the "trying" for the next couple of months. I hate always being the one saying "we should really do it tonight"...so unromantic! It's helped a lot feeling like he's taking control and although I'm still using a fertility monitor and poas every day, I'm trying not to think about it as much and let him control it. I just told him approximately the right time of the month and let him take it from there. And now that I'm entering the TWW I'm literally going to tell myself to stop every time I try to diagnose pregnancy symptoms. I'm just going to put TTC out of my mind, not check what day it is, not take any tests. At least that's the plan ; ).
Oh New Hampshire is driving distance for me! And I can pick up anyone at the airport!
Just wanted to share a little ray of sunshine :)
I've been on BC for about 5-6 years, and had regular cycles before that. I developed PCOS within the last 2 years and was told if I ever went off I would probably no longer ovulate and have reasonable trouble conceiving. I was also placed on Metformin, and have been taking it for about 6 months.
We are getting married in 3 months and after the PCOS diagnosis, decided to start TTC right away in June because we had no idea how long of a process this would be. We also decided I should go off BCP's now and just see how things go and how I react so I can get my body back to "normal" (whatever my new definition of normal was). Plus, they were turning me into a crazy person, but that's another story. :)
Well, I stopped the BCP's after my last pack, so this is my first month off of them, and I ovulated yesterday! It's like nothing ever happened. I'm so happy I could about throw a party!
I just hope and pray it will last a lot longer than just this month. I just don't know if I can believe this luck... not even an adjustment period after coming off BC where my cycle goes all wacky for a couple of months? I just hope it will last.... positive thinking! :)
@sacbride10: That sounds like an awesome idea!!!! That will be so much fun and get your mind off things :) Good luck on all the testing, and let us know how it goes!
@MissMaine: It is so nice when your body works on its own! I have heard the BC can stay in your system for a while, so maybe it is still helping regulate your periods. No matter what though, a natural period is something to celebrate!
@sacbride10- Oh, I know the feeling! I'm so sorry. It does truly help to have something else to focus on/plan. A few weeks ago, my husband and I were heading up to the mountain to go skiing and I just couldn't drag myself out of the "Pit of Dispair" I had gotten myself into. I was so sick of focusing on this little, tiny 7 square inch portion of my lower body that I couldn't think any more. It was hurting my husband, too. Then, I had an epiphany- I needed to plan something again that didn't involve little sticks, sore boobs and counting down the days. Instead, we're planning a trip to Italy and Germany over Christmas. That way, it's long term enough that I can look forward to it for a while, and if by some miracle I actually do get pregnant, we still might be able to go!
I just read this blog post and thought I would share. Basically, the bloggers sister had to have fertility treatments with all three of her children. Then by suprise she got pregnant on her own! With twins! They thought they were done after three but apparently not! Just goes to show that we will all have our babie(s) someday (hopefully soon!).
I hope no one minds a lurker, because I've been following this board for awhile - grinning like a fool over the highs when people have good news, and literally crying over some of the lows. My fiance and I aren't TTC yet, but I've always always always wanted to be a mom and have friends who've had trouble, so I can sympathize.
One thing I've noticed (and forgive me if I missed a discussion on this) - a lot of posters have mentioned being on BC for a long time. I've been on it off and on for 9 years now (started when I was 14 for very heavy periods). Do you think taking BC for awhile affects your ability to conceive?
@sacbride10: I'm glad you are feeling better today. I agree with all the girls on the board you are not a failure and you will have a baby. I felt that way when my period started this month but the next day was better. We are here for you and support you - keep your chin up. I think we live by each other, I am about 2 hours north of Sac. We are looking at seeing an RE in Sacramento - Fertility Physicians of Northern California, I've heard great things about them.
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