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It's your wedding, not hers! Better to ask forgiveness than permission, right? 
But really, I think it's gracious of you to address her invites the way that she wants them. The invitation is for your wedding, and something you will keep and trreasure forever, so it should be worded how you would like it to be.
could you have your fi interface? he might have a better read as to exactly how far the issue can be pushed. i don't think she needs to proof the invites but if it's something that's uber important to her.. well you don't want to start off on the wrong foot.
I'm listing them that way too and not asking them about it first. Miss Slice is right, it's your wedding and your invite :)
I wouldn't worry about it. Like bees said before, it's your wedding not hers! (and I bet you are thanking your lucky stars for that house fire hey?!)
I was wondering what to do for my invites too. I was just going to do "together with our parents", because I thought we were paying for everything. Turns out my parents are paying for the reception and my dress so I definately want them on there! My parents are together, but never got married and have different last names, so I was at a loss trying to figure out wording. Luckily, I just got my friends invites in the mail and am going to copy her by putting mine and FI last names, and then just our parents' first names. No Mr & Mrs anywhere.
Do what makes you comfortable! And, like you said, you could address her side of invites that way, and she will probably never know you didn't do them ALL like that!
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Okay, here's the dilema...his mother is very formal and traditional in her ideas about weddings...(she hinted that she wanted us to use her wedding cake topper from her wedding 30 years ago...and she mentioned that she wishes her dress hadn't burned in a house fire).
So for the invitations, I want to list our parents names informally...like this (my parents are divorced)
Bride and Groom
together with their parents
Sam and Mary Bride
Dan Bride
&
Greg and Dorris Groom
The "Mr. and Mrs. Bride and Mr. and Mrs. Groom" just doesn't appeal to me...at all.
Does the wording on that sound okay? I know a lot of people are going to suggest to strip it to just "together with their parents" but I want to honor our parents by name, even though my fiance and I are paying for the wedding.
However, for my guests, I'm addressing them as "Fred and Sue Guest", with no Mr or Mrs...but I may cave in on her set of invitations. The guest list she gave me only lists the guests as "Mr. and Mrs. Guest" . So unless my fiance would rather address them my way, I am going to address her guests as she requested.
I wasn't planning on getting feedback from her on the invitation wording, so I'm not sure is she is going to be insulted that they are being listed as Greg and Dorris Groom instead of Mr. and Mrs. Groom. Should I show her the proof of the invitations before I order them? What if she complains?