- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013
FI and I live together in the house I bought and tenanted out for a year. Everyone was happy with this. I thought me and my girls would get ready here. Location distances:
Church + 5mins My Parents House
Church + 15mins My/Our House
Church + 45mins In Laws House
FI asked to get ready at our house instead of the discussed hotel to save money, since my sister is now moving out my parents house and there will be space. I agreed.
MoG and FoG and really not happy that their son is not getting ready at their house, which will be packed with their relatives. I tried to deflect saying it was their son who said he wanted to get ready here and not at their house. All seemed fine when they said they’d talk to him, I gave him the heads up. That was last night.
Today his parents came over and my FFIL decided to have a heart to heart with me over this matter, as my FI was out of the room. He started by explaining that its a tradition the groom leaves his parents house in the limo. I explained the issue of the hard-start time of the Videographer of 8am and I am unable to get ready until he gets back, resulting in the longest possible time for me to get ready at 1 hour because of the additional drive time.
He dove back to say he only wants me to be happy and not stressed, especially at the Wedding, but that its his culture and he will have to explain to his family in Lebanon why the photos and videos are not of HIS house, but of his son’s house and that it would kill his pride and he can barely get these words/thoughts out. And that the video needs to show his son getting in the Limo from his house.
I explained that alone is impossible as the Limo is only from 12-noon and ceremony is at 1, that means its impossible for them to pick me up and have back in time to not rush. He then stated he doesn’t care he’ll have a limo at the house to stage the leaving to the church just so his relatives wont know when they see the video.
I have tried to explain again the lack of timing and also that my FI wants to get ready at our house so he can relax after he’s ready. He then tried to convince me to do a 7am start time of Videographer to accomodate getting ready at their house, but FI doesn’t want his GM to have to get ready that early.
I felt stuck and cornered, I asked my FI when he popped by if he could help/do something since it was his initial choice but I’m the one defending him.
That didn’t do anything….
I honestly thought it would be OK whatever we did since his parents were only adament we HAVE VIDEO since his first son did not due to his wife’s wishes. That lack of video is still a point of grivence between then their DIL and they’ve been married about 8 years.
My FI says he’ll keep talking to his father, but I’m a people pleaser and I’m worried this will turn into something for years to come. But if I get my FI to give in then I know he wont be happy since he wont get to relax after getting ready.
and a side note… my gift to my FI is a vintage Whiskey Set with the Whiskey Stones and a NICE bottle of Whiskey if he goes to his parents house it wont work well as they will for sure be pushing arak on him (Arabic oozo) and he wont get to enjoy the suprise I’d planned for soooo long 🙁