- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I could really use some good advice here. My inlaws were originally flying in the weekend after Thanksgiving for an event they are attending in their home state, which is also where we live. They intended on staying with us for one night and spending some post-Thanksgiving quality time with us, which would have been totally fine.
A couple of days ago they told us they decided to change their flight so they are now arriving at 7:00 p.m. the evening of Thanksgiving. We already committed to having Thanksgiving with my parents during the day. DH wants his parents to come to my parents’ house for a “second Thanksiving” that evening, but my parents don’t feel comfortable with it, and I don’t think it’s fair to expect them to host MY in-laws that evening. Their flight may be set to arrive at 7:00, but the airport is not right next to our house, so they wouldn’t arrive at their home until probably about 8:00-8:30 that evening.
My father has cancer and it will take everything within him to get enough energy to get through the day, so the idea of having my in-laws over that evening is just too much pressure for him. My mom has a lot of anxiety and is already stressed about making the day nice for just the four of us, so the thought of having extra guests is also stressful for her. I was planning on the two of us leisurely putting together the meal so it would be an enjoyable experience for her.
My MIL is extremely high-strung and high-maintenance, to put it lightly. I really think she has a big heart deep down but she is loud, opinionated, and can sometimes come off as extremely rude. She has been so insistent that she get to see my parents that I suggested to DH that maybe his parents could drop by the house and eat some leftovers with us so they could see my parents for a bit, but nothing was set in stone.
He jumped the gun and invited his parents to my parents’ house for a second Thanksgiving dinner that night, making it sound as though it would be a big event. Now his mother has been saying thins like, “I can’t wait to see the feast (my name) whips up for us when we come!” And when I mentioned it to my parents, they pleaded that we not come over with them because of my dad’s health and how stressful it would be, which I respect.
His parents are now leaving town for another area of the state the very next day, so we can’t push our Thanksgiving with them off for the next day. I feel like I have no choice but to plan a Thanksgiving dinner for them, but it really makes me sad because I want to be able to spend the holiday with my parents instead of slaving in the kitchen preparing for a second Thanksgiving, especially being my dad is in such poor health.
What would you do in this situation? DH thinks I should just warm my parents up to the idea and have a second dinner together with the food we will have at my mom’s from earlier in the day, but I don’t think that’s fair to my parents and won’t do it. I feel weird about just serving his parents our leftovers at our home that evening… I’m at such a loss and feel like I’m stuck in a corner. :/