Inlaws just decided they are flying in on Thanksgiving night

posted 3 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

With your father’s health issues, I wouldn’t push for it either. It isn’t fair that your in-laws decided to change their plans, knowing you already had plans to be with your parents. Your DH also should have checked with your parents before he told his parents it was ok.

I would tell DH that he can prepare a meal for his family at YOUR home because of your father’s health concerns.

Post # 4
Member
825 posts
Busy bee

@brideatbeach:  I would tell your DH to make it right since he’s the one who ‘screwed up’. Tell them you guys can go out for cocktails, or come over for cocktails and pie, but 8:00 is too late for dinner with your dad’s health.

Also try seeing if they’ll come over for an early breakfast before they go. That way you can prepare things (egg dishes, fruit, etc.) that can easily be prepared in advance so that you can enjoy the day with your parents.

Post # 5
Member
3769 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

No, your should not warm your parents up to the idea.  Your DH should tell his parents that your Dad isn’t feeling up to and come up with something else. Maybe go to a nice restaurant or pick up carry out and eat it at your home.

Post # 6
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@brideatbeach:  wtf?!  I’d tell your husband to tell his parents that there will be no second Thanksgiving.  If you guys want to have a meal with his parents, great but you two host it.  It’s their choice to travel on the holiday, if they don’t get any turkey beacuse of it too bad. That’s their problem, not your parents.

Post # 7
Member
42472 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@brideatbeach:  What about meeting them for coffee or breakfast the next day? Surely they plan to eat or have coffee before they leave town?

I would just announce to them that there as been a change of plans, that your Dad’s health will not allow him to entertain again on Thanksgiving night.

Post # 10
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I would let you FI go get his parents and have dinner with them. You can stay with your folks and stick to the plan. 

Post # 12
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Could you have a light lunch, spending the day with your parents and DH, then have the “big dinner” when your ILs arrive? It may be a special opportunity to have both families together if you can make it work on a smaller scale. Is there a reason for it to be a “second Thanksgiving”?

Post # 13
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Step 1. Smack your husband (yes I am kidding… no one get upset!)

Step 2. Make a few things ahead of time and have them ready at your house.

Step 3. Take the Inlaws to your house after picking them up and microwave/heat up the pre-prepped food.

Step 4. Make them a nice breakfast before they leave in the morning.

OR

Step 1. Go to an awesome Chinese restaurant!

Your husband is way out of line here and he needs to be the one to break the news to his parents that the “feast” is not going to happen.  Sorry you have to deal with this, and I hope your father is on the road to a speedy recovery!

Post # 14
Member
641 posts
Busy bee

Great advice already on here, and I’m backing it up. Your mom doesn’t need the stress. You don’t need the pressure. Your DH can figure out if going out to eat is in order, or brunch the following morning, and it’s fine to invite your parents, but this isn’t their mess to mop up, or yours, especially if it is cauding grief and stress to you and your parents. MIL doesn’t sound like she’ll be pleased with anything anyways, so whatever. Get takeout Chinese food. If you’re going down, you may as well go down like a Viking funeral.

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