Post # 1
My FMIL and most etiquette guides I’ve seen say that that inner envelopes should say "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" – or the equivalent thereof. I much prefer "John and Jane" because I feel like if we’re inviting people to the wedding, at least one of us should know them well enough to use their first names. Our invitations are very nice, but the wording isn’t super formal (my parents wanted both their names instead of "Mr. & Mrs. X") so I think it would look a little inconsistent to go formal in the inner envelopes…any advice??
Post # 3
keep it consistent…John and Jane for the inner envelopes is fine!
Post # 4
We used first names for most people and the traditional way (“Mr. and Mrs. X”) for more traditional people. =) I’m lining my inner envelopes now…I seriously never want to see another inner envelope ever again!
Post # 5
I’m new to this whole invitation thing. So the outside envelope of course has the guest’s name and address. But the inner envelope we write our guest’s name only??? I just want to do the right thing as I will be mailing mine out soon.
Post # 6
What are inner envelopes????
Post # 7
I talked to my wedding coordinator about this one. Typically you use the formal titles on the outside (US mail) envelope. On the inside you can use the more informal names like "John and Jane" or "Uncle Karl and Aunt Carol." Makes it more personal too since you’ve already covered the formality on the outside envelope.
Hokouk77- most invites come with 2 envelopes. 1 outside for US mail/postage. You put the actual invite and other materials in the inner envelope and tuck that entire package into the outer US mail envelope. It’s an old tradition meant to protech the inner envelope so that it isn’t soiled in the mailing process. Nowadays with so many of the pocket style invites being used, the inner envelopes aren’t as common but are a nice touch.
Post # 8
Thanks! I think I’ll go with first names for everyone on my side, and use the more formal titles for some of the older folks on my fiance’s side. Once I realized that we didn’t need to use the same rule for everyone, I was relieved – it’s not like they’re going to compare their envelopes!
Post # 9
It really depends on how formal you wedding is… If you’re going black tie, then the correct thing is to use titles on the inner envelope. We also hate the formal convention, and our wedding is a late afternoon country club affair with an early dinner reception (and my parents also wanted their actual names, rather than Mr. and Mrs., on the invitation). So we addressed the outer envelopes "Jane and John Smith" and on the inner envelopes just put "Jane and John." Address on the outer envelope only, and traditionally also only the names of the adults actually living at that address – so that if you invite children too, their names would go on a second line on the inner envelope, or if you invite a boyfriend/girlfriend or fiance not living with the addressee, their name goes on the inner envelope only.
If you have some older relatives who might prefer the more formal method of address, it’s fine to do theirs differently. It’s also fine to use a less formal title on the inner envelope – so "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" on the outer, and "Aunt Jane and Uncle John" on the inner.
Post # 10
I actually went against the grain. I don’t like using the whole formal name thing because I have friends who have nicknames for a reason, they don’t like their full name, so why should I use a name they don’t like? (i.e. christy vs. christine). So I just put those on the outer envelopes. Also, the whole Mr. and Mrs. thing just seemed too formal to me, so I didn’t do that either.
So basically, I guess just do what you’d like to, there are maybe guidelines to what you should do, but no one is going to penalize you if you try something different.