Insecurities and engagement photos

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@RubyStar:  Alright lady, time for a little pep talk.

 

I have been insecure since I was a young teenager when I overheard someone call me fat…..since then my self confidence has grown and improved, but I have many moments every day where I am totally picking apart my appearance (chin which you can’t see much of the flaw in the pics because I practiced putting my chin forward so it wouldn’t look so chubby, thighs, stomach, upper arms, etc.) when really — they’re not that bad. I have to shush those voices in my head telling me any different….and so do you. I know it is so hard to do that though! Believe me, I know. At the same time, absolutely do not feel stupid for writing that and confronting your insecurities.

 

I didn’t think any engagement pics would turn out….and I actually loved most of them! I’m not a huge girl but I don’t like certain parts, and I always pick them apart.

 

Here are a couple of mine for example…..

 

 

 

 

 

And I don’t have the one uploaded to weddingbee that I’m going to be using for STD’s (I’m working night shift right now)……but I’ve loved more than I thought I would. AND I’m surprised I loved the one where we are holding the leaf because I’m insecure about my fat fingers too.

 

 

 

The engagement picture session is not only for you to have some cute pictures of you and your fiance together, but also to get comfortable in front of the camera, find out angles that work for you, as well as get to know your photographer. You are a beautiful woman I’m sure, and your fiance loves you for who you are!

 

Post # 4
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

Aw *hugs* just make sure the photography session is something you are comfortable with! You are compromising by doing the engagement photos so maybe your FI could compromise and have it in a setting you are comfortable with. Could you do it in a studio with a night time feel with no up close shots? Or in a building or other place that you feel comfortable in?

Post # 5
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@Jacqui90:  X a million! Those last two lines….? Yes!

 

p.s. sorry if it seemed like I jacked this thread. NOT my intention 🙁

Post # 6
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

@NicoleLyn1218:  you looked amazing in your engagement photos!

Post # 7
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would do it. I have insecurities taking photos too (bad teeth, plus just really unphotogenic in general) and getting professional photos done really helped with that. There are maybe 10 photos of myself that I like over my entire life, but when I got my wedding pictures back every one was beautiful. The photographer knows their angles and will make you look awesome, plus you will only ever see the best ones of the batch. If your experience is positive it will probably help you relax about it on your wedding day too.

Post # 8
Member
1024 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@Jacqui90:  Aww thanks! 🙂 My FI also usually has squinty eyes, so I was SUPER EXCITED  when I got them back and there isn’t a single pic remotely close to squinty eyes. lol

@CountryRose:  +1!

Post # 10
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@RubyStar:  You have already been given so much excellent advice but I just wanted to add, it’s really nice if you can do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel good for the photos as well.

 

If it means getting your hair blow dried, a new top / dress, nails done and make up done…just do it!

 

I was so happy with my photos because I felt like I looked beautiful…after I had bought a new dress plus got my make up and hair done.  I know it sounds vain but I was really glad I spent a bit of money to make myself look nice.

PLUS – I straight up told my photographer there is this funny way I hold my mouth when smiling which I DONT like it when I do it (dont even know why I do it!) and if they are aware of teeth, nose, whatever concerns we have at least if you tell them they might think of other options.

Post # 11
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

@NicoleLyn1218:  THis is excellent advice! You might as well practice with your photographer so he/she can get the best possible shots on the day!

And let’s face it– pics from a professional photographer aren’t going to be like those horrifying candids where we just want to drop off the face of the earth. (I saw one taken at a school event last week and I literally looked like a huge blob on a chair. I am mortified. But my photographer won’t let me look like that on my wedding day– or at least won’t capture it on camera!)

Post # 12
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Everyone has insecurities. I would let your photographer know and then you can avoid taking the types of photos you so dislike.

I think in your situation, engagement photos are a good idea, if only to get some practice having photos taken.. and to get more familiar with your photographer.

Post # 13
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

@RubyStar: Hugs and lots of deep breaths. You only do engagement photos of you want them. They are not a requirement and there’s no pressure. 

If you think you may want to have some engagement photos shot, please talk to your photographer. As distressing as “airing your insecurities” may be to you, your photographer wants to make you a happy client. The best way to do that is to know about your insecurities ahead of time so he/she can come up with a game plan of how to minimize the things that worry you the most. I wish I had done this before our e-shoot. I got the photos back and felt so lousy about myself. But, with the encouragement of the hive, I worked up the guts to talk to my photographer about what worked/didn’t work for me in the shots, what my personal insecuritues were, and together we game planned a way for us to get better wedding photos. It became an invaluable learning experience for me. I learned the hard way to proactively addressing my own issues. I also learned that I truly am my worst critic and everyone else thinks the photos are great. Once I started seeing them through the eyes of everyone else, I learned to be happy with many of them. Go figure.

Also, it’s okay to splurge on yourself/your look for your e-photos as a PP suggested. I got my make-up professionally done and that made a world of difference in my confidence for the shoot. Just don’t do your e-shoot on a day when it’s 94 degrees with high humidity or your make-up will melt off within the first 30 minutes. Word.

And you can do your e-photos inside. They don’t have to be outdoors. A museum, a restaurant with special meaning to the two of you, a library, or even your own home are all great options for indoor photos. We were planning to use our photos in a cookbook that we were making for our wedding favor, so many of our photos are indoors at the bars and restaurants we went to on our epic length first date.

 

 

Post # 14
Member
2895 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Oh sweety, I understand where you are coming from.  I think like PPs have said, getting engagement photos done will at least help you get ready for the concept of taking photos with your photographer.  Also, engagment sesion you will have more time to talk to your photographer.  Make sure they write stuff done. 

Post # 15
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@RubyStar:  That makes me so sad! You’re a wonderful, amazing person, and you should not cry when you think about getting your picture taken!

I’d talk to the photographer about it! Be like “Look, I want one nice picture of the two of us. But I hate X, X, and X. How can we make a good picture happen?”

Post # 16
Member
2687 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I would urge you to do the engagement pics. Talk to the photographer about your insecurities in advance so you can develop a plan to minimize shots that you’ll be less happy with, and consider taking some shots that don’t include your face so you’ll have them as “back-up” in case you end up not liking the results. You could do pics of your hands together, a shot of the two of you walking away from the camera holding hands, etc. I really do think the engagement pics will be good practice for you and for the photographer before the wedding.

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