Weddingbee boards

BTW... I hate titling my posts.  I know I need to, so that ya'll know what I'm talking about... however I just couldn't find one in me today.

First off, my SO and I work at the same office, relatively close to each other.

So the other day I happen to walk up to his desk and he's chatting with someone on facebook. (We work on a call center and he was doing this between calls.  They all got new computers they other day and IT hasn't blocked the internet yet).  I tell him or ask him whatever I was going over there for and go back to my desk.

Later that night we are in bed and his phone says he has a text message. So I go to pick up the phone to hand it to him when the phone rings.  He answers the call and when he's done it shows the previous text message.  It shows that it's from a girl he used to work with.  (Side note, we both used to work at a department store together, but in different departments across the mall from each other. This girl worked in the same department as he did, and so not only did he work with her but I saw her there as well as I was often taking things from our womens store across the mall to the mens).

When he showed me that the message was from this certain girl, I didn't realize it was the girl we worked with, so I asked who it was and he tells me.  He then says that she's the one who he was talking to earlier at work.  I asked if they had been in touch much, or if they often talked (I hadn't heard about this girl in quite a while, it was a few months ago when she was takling to him online as well).

He says that he hasn't talked to her since then but apparently she confided in him about something in her marriage. (She got married around the time we stopped working at the department store).  HE said that she had confided in him that she had cheated on her husband, but she didn't plan to tell him.

At this point I"m a little confused, and concerned.  I didn't understand, and still really dont, why she was telling him this. They were never close friends before, just work aqcuaintences.  He said he must have been too much of an open ear when they were talking online, that she felt he could text him and tell him. (I think possibly she might have also told him because she didn't want to tell anyone in her life who could judge her or tell her husband).  My SO then tells me that he deleted the entire conversation on his phone because she wanted him to keep it a secret.  (I'm pretty sure he wasn't lying about this, as I can normally tel when he's lying, but this just seemed funny to me).  Girls and guys process gossip so different...

So I'm feeling kind of weird about all this.  Then the other day I get on the computer and it shows that he had been looking at her wedding pictures on her facebook, and it showed the same thing today.

I"m kind of confused why he'd be looking at all her photos.  I told him that I thought the whole situation seemed kind of odd to me and made me feel uncomfortable (although I didn't tell him I saw that he looked at her photos as he isn't home).  He reassured me yesterday that I'm the woman of his dreams and he'll be proposing soon. He said he hasn't talked to her since she texted him the other day with the details of her relationship. He said he didn't flirt with her in any way, and if she tried to insinuate that she wanted something with him that he'd be sure to put her in her place.  I know I shouldn't be worried, but I am. 

I'll be honest and put this out there... I have trust issues, which is a whole other store, but we're working on them.  Part is his fault and part his mine.  He's never cheated on me though or given me any reason to believe he would (the trust issue is related to something else entirely)

I just needed to get this out.... Sorry it's so long.  That seems to be my MO.

@Recesssionista- Thank you SO much for helping me think of other sides of this. You're right- I have googled or looked at ex's pages.  I know he wants to marry me... the ring is about halfway paid for.  I know he thinks I'll be a great mom, as he loves how I interact with my nephew, his nephew and others.  So I really don't think I should be worrying, but sometimes I get stuck on things and can't get them out of my head... luckily he and I are both willing to work on the trust thing.

Once again, thanks :)

@Entangled- You're right, I thought this might be in too.  I"m just a pessimist and a worrier, so I think the worst. Thanks for reassuring that it's nothing big :)

@Recessionista-  Thanks for being honest with me. Everything you said, I know, but for some reason I needed to "hear" someone else say it.  I AM a good catch, and he ISN'T and hasn't cheated on me.  He's the best man I know and I'm gonna stop worrying. You rock :)

Yeah, that sounds like a weird situation.  I think that you've handled it well, but I'd talk to him more.  I'd consider talking to her as well and let her know it's weirding you out that she keeps confiding in your boyfriend.

@ recessionista those words about trust issues ring true with a lot of us for sure.  I know from time to time I struggle with trusting my FI but it's totally my own hangups and nothing he's done. I try to keep it to myself and not let him know how insecure I feel sometimes but you're advice about the reasons to let go of the trust issues are really important so thanks!

@ recessionista those words about trust issues ring true with a lot of us for sure.  I know from time to time I struggle with trusting my FI but it's totally my own hangups and nothing he's done. I try to keep it to myself and not let him know how insecure I feel sometimes but you're advice about the reasons to let go of the trust issues are really important so thanks!

Thanks for all the support ladies! 

So things have happened/ changed since I posted all this.  He texted her and told her to not contact him again, deleted her number and facebook and everything. Well that night she didn't respond to his text, but the next day she simply said "hey."  SO deleted it.  An hour later she said "was I not supposed to text you today either, cause I just wanted to say I"m sorry"

So he then told her that he accepted her apology but she had crossed the line and he would never put our relationship in jeopordy to do anything with her and what not.  She then started saying that she was sorry we had issues in our relationship and that not talkingto her wasn't going to fix the problems SO and I had.  (As if she knows anything about us).  Then she asked if they could talk about the weather and sports, and SO told her that he knew that wasn't what she wanted to takl about and he didn't want to have contact with her ever again. So she won't leave, she just kept rambling on about how they are friends and I shouldn't make him give up talking to her.  SO is getting annoyed at this point.

So I take SO's phone and text something along these lines:
"This is Dave's girlfriend.  Please leave him alone, you and he were never friends, you were never close.  If you want to ruin your relationship find someone else to do it with.  Dave has made it perfectly clear that he has no interest in you and that he does not want to have any contact with you what so ever.  Please respect his wishes and leave him alone." 

SO then texted saying "this is the last text you'll receive.  Leave me alone"

She hasn't contacted him since.  She is just a nut!!