- 4 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
My FI and I met at work, (we are 30 and 31 incase you need a reference) started practically living together (he still had his own place but never spent time there) We were together 24/7 literally. It worked for us, we didnt have many friends- just people we had only tolerated (bad influences and immature) because we were lonley and we became instant best friends who just wanted to be together. Almost 2 years later (living together for a year) we still prefer all our free time together, if we do on the rare occasion hangout with other people we like it to be a group thing with both of us involved.
We both wound up leaving the job that we worked together for better offers. I was uneasy with the change ( I guess any change makes me uneasy no matter what) He is now gone 12 hours a day but I still get up at 3am when he gets home from work so we can have at least a few hours together. I lost my job and havent been working for quite some time so I feel bad that he had 0 alone time but always swore up and down that he would rather spend what little free time he has with me. Of course I”m fine with it because I’m always around still.
Now I am starting a new job where we will have even less time together and I’m freaking out. Irrational fears that he is going to do something wrong (dont know what but my brain is out of control with worry) like he is going to become a porn addict like my ex- I am looking into therapy for this issue. Or enjoy his alone time so much that he prefers it over me, or that he will start looking forward to me going to work…these are just my guesses because I dont really understand my anxiety.
I thought every couple is different and this was just our normal, some people are homebodies and just liked their time together and some just prefered more balance. Like the rules of a healthy relationship didnt apply to us because we are just different and it has worked for so long. I’m starting to see that that might not be the case because I shouldnt be this terrified of leaving him to go to work.
I know therapy is a good idea but in the mean time I still want help. I’m on medication for anxiety and am no doubt an overthinker.
My question for you guys is have you ever had a past relationship that was damaged by too much time together? What were your experiences? How do you feel when someone is too needy even tho you love them to pieces? Hoping that hearing some stories wil give me some perspective and prevent a panic attack when I do go to work.
Just wanted to add that he is happy with our relationship but is a workaholic so the time apart working is a non issue.