Insulting not wearing engagement ring?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

You should talk to her about this for a better perspective, but likely it’s all in your head. 


Does your FI typically wear much jewelry? If not she may just not be used to wearing it, which makes her forgetful about putting it on. If thats not the case, perhaps she realized the way the center stone sits is on the high side and gets in the way every once and a while. Have you asked her if she likes her ring? If she says no, please don’t get angry, listen to her concerns about it and consider exchanging it for something she’d wear every day.


as for calling you boyfriend, that’s probably an accident, I still occasionally call my FI my BF without thinking.

Post # 5
237 posts
Helper bee

I can understand why you feel the way you do, especially more so when she refers to you as her boyfriend rather than fiance on top of her not wearing the ring.  While it is true that some rings can snag pantyhose…. I don’t think that excuse would prevent her from putting the ring back on.  Plenty of ladies out there wear pantyhose and still wear their ring.

I don’t know your fiancé so I don’t want to assume and plant wrong ideas into your head.  A non confrontational heart to heart talk would be a good start.  I would try to study her responses and and pair it with what you know of her personality.

I will share my story… When I first got my ring, I was so excited and could not stop looking at it while I was with my fiance.  But when it came to work and church… I was immediately uncomfortable.  I am a huge introvert and was not sure how I felt with the extra attention and wanted to keep quiet at first. Three weeks later, I am proud to wear my ring with confidence.  All I needed was a little time to process it all.

Post # 6
2670 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

Definitely talk to her about how she’s feeling, but I don’t think there’s anything inherently insulting about not wearing one’s ring. I often take mine off (I have only one ring that is both my engagement and wedding ring) to do various things such as cook, put on hand lotion, etc, and once I do it is easy to continue to forget to put it back on. Especially if I took it off upstairs and then every time I notice I’m not wearing it I’m either downstairs, out, in the middle of the next task that would require me to take it off…

Post # 8
553 posts
Busy bee

Just ask her it’s prob nothing …i have a friend who is very happily married but never wears a ring  wil wear costume jewellery and stuff instead also is she a jewellery person se woman are not and dont put a lot of significance on it…mayne its playing on your head/emotions because u miss her so much when your apart and the ring is yoir way of feeling more connected to her?… if u tell her it bothers u she wil prob put bk on and not take it off

Post # 9
7915 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

My FI would feel the same way. She might just forget to put it back on- Id let her know how you feel about it and how uneasy it makes you. Also give her another chance to come forward if she’s feeling issues about the ring or engagement. Hopefully she just says oh sorry I just forget sometimes but I love it and you and am so happy to be engaged.

Post # 10
3504 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

moonatic2u:  I think it’s probably nothing, but worth asking her about. Maybe she just forgets to put the ring on or maybe she doesn’t like the attention she gets when wearing it or maybe she doesn’t like having to explain your long distance situation everytime someone sees the ring and asks about it, maybe it’s somehting else, only she knows. 

I also wanted to add that outside of the bee, I never refer to my FI as “fiance.” I just hate how pretentious it sounds and I don’t feel comfortable saying it. 

Post # 12
2151 posts
Buzzing bee

moonatic2u:  I would just ask if there’s a reason that she doesn’t wear it. This would bother me too, especially since she does enjoy wearing jewelry. I understand that some people just find jewelry uncomfortable, or they have a job where they can’t wear it (chef, surgeon, etc.). Other than those things, unless she’s just forgetful, I would kind of wonder why she didn’t wear it. I think you need to just talk to her about how it makes you feel and see if there’s a valid reason. 

Oh and I wouldn’t worry about her not calling you “fiance”, I don’t call my FI that either, I just say “boyfriend”. Fiance feels pretentious and unnatural to me. 

  • This reply was modified 1 year, 10 months ago by  swonderful.
Post # 13
1834 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

moonatic2u:  sometimes I still say “boyfriend” accidentally and then correct myself. And I’m married! but he was my boyfriend for many years and has only been my fiancé/husband for just over a year, so I’m still getting used to the new titles. 🙂

Post # 14
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I would ask her as well to clarify why she doesn’t wear it.  If she doesn’t like the style or finds it to be cumbersome, you’ll want to know…some women just prefer to get married and wear a band only.

Post # 15
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Yeah…I agree with others, as her what she’s feeling, it may be nothing. I personally can’t imagine consistently not wearing my ring, but I think it depends on the person. She’s really the only one who will know what’s going on in her head.

Post # 16
3136 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I never said fiance. Neither did my husband. We were bf/gf until we were husband and wife. We just didn’t like the word! Meant nothing about our impending wedding. Just aaaaaask instead of stewing. Could save you a LOT of time and stress.

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