Intentionally having a child without a partner.

posted 2 years ago in Babies
Post # 2
Member
1185 posts
Bumble bee

missadventure85:  I know someone who did this (but for their first child) I thought it was totally understandable and if I ended up single and financially secure at about  35 I would do this. I think the biggest problem is explaining it to the child when it is older but if it was handled well should be fine

Post # 3
Member
7941 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If she can financially support herself and her chilldren and provide a loving, safe and nuturing home then anyone who judges her is just an arse.

Post # 4
Member
6156 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t really say that I’d judge her but I do believe that a child benefits from having both a mother and father in their life. (Obviously there are exceptions, like if the dad or mom was a horrible parent they’d be better off without them.) How old is your friend?

Post # 6
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

missadventure85:  Wouldn’t judge one bit. None of my business who her children’s fathers are.

Post # 7
Member
7005 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

It’s not something I would personally do but if she can afford to raise two children alone I would not judge. 

Post # 8
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: A very pretty church.

missadventure85: Nope. I think a lot of women reach a certain age (somewhere in their 30s) and SETTLE down with the next okay ‘cab off the rank’ with horrible consequences. Children who are loved and provided for usually do alright, you want good enough parenting for good outcomes. Atleast they would have one parent who wanted them and had them on purpose, that’s one more than many.

Post # 9
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

It’s 2014, I think it’s pretty much acceptable at this point. I’m not at all in the ‘children need 2-parents of opposite gender’ category because they don’t. 

If she can provide a safe, loving home and financially support them then I say go for it.

Post # 10
Member
4589 posts
Honey bee

missadventure85:  What about adoption?  I’m not saying her method is wrong, but it’s another method.  And no I wouldn’t judge at all.  My mother raised me as a single mother and I don’t think anyone looked at her and judged (and if they did, I wasn’t aware of it).  If anything lots of people praise my mom for raising me by herself.

Post # 11
Member
2985 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

missadventure85:  I def wouldn’t care or judge at all as long as she could fully support her kids. 

Post # 12
Member
7065 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would not judge her personally. And I’m not sure it would come up that often after the pregnancy and birth. I have 2 daughters- one from each marriage and people aassume they are just full siblings (or if they have suspicions they aren’t, they are polite enough not to mention it).

Post # 13
Member
349 posts
Helper bee

It’s 2014 so no I wouldn’t judge. 

However – I would suggest it be an anonymous or professionally handled ‘transaction’. It shouldn’t be a man she knows etc; human emotions are ugly and the situtation would be volatile.  I agree with PP, adoption may be an option. 

Post # 14
Member
7322 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Nope, I would not judge in the least bit. Why waste your fertile years waiting for prince charming? Sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands and do what it takes to fulfill your own dreams.

Post # 15
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Sperm donation is already half-adoption, why not fully adopt?  I see no need to make a kid with only one parent when there’s tons out there without any parents.

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