(Closed) interesting article about personal choices for our events

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1993

Interesting! I personally can’t imagine spending $200 on a wedding though? If she did, then good on her! I guess it comes down to ‘each to their own’ as long as it doenst get them into crazy debt or cause massive problems!

Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I do agree with what she is saying.  I think its crazy to go into massive amount of debt for a wedding

Post # 5
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I definitely agree that what you spend on a wedding is a personal (and sometimes private) choice, but that we are spending close to $5500 on ours is staggering (to me). I mean, That is more than a years tuition for me. That could be the cost of our bathroom renovation, or we could put that towards our annual lump-sum payment against our mortgage.

The fact that some folks spend 10, 20, 30 thousand plus dollars on their wedding FLOORS me. I mean, where does that money come from? Is it “real” (cash, not credit), what are the justifications?

In reality, it is none of my business and I don’t “care” all that much as someone elses financial decisions don’t affect me, but it can still be difficult to wrap my head around someone elses financial decisions, especially if they are ones that I would not make because of xyz.

 

It is interesting though.

 

Post # 6
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Agree that going into debt for a wedding is not good.

But, I don’t think her friends should have to talk about how they’re trying to save money on the wedding or have detailed financial discussions with her. Especially since the mention of the total set off this article. If she was really balking every time they brought up a detail, is she considering the cost that will be incurred to have her as a guest (and her SO)? Is she willing to help them save money by staying home?

I fail to see how two people who can afford it spending money the way they want to is anyone else’s business.  

Post # 7
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

While I do see and agree with her points about going into debt for your wedding, I don’t like that she didn’t offer any alternatives that would save money. She says she only paid $200 but how? Was it a courthouse wedding with two guests and a back yard reception? If you are going to write an article about how it’s smart to save money, which it is, then you should probably give some money saving ideas. Just tossing it out there…

Post # 8
Member
2829 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Corilee13:

totally agree. It is easy to say “well I only spent ___”

oh yeah, great, but HOW?

Post # 9
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I liked the article. How much money you spend on your wedding (or any area of your life) is a personal choice. People have different priorieties and I think it is awesome that the author recognizes that what is right for her isn’t necessarily right for her friend and vice versa. My friend is having a much more expensive wedding than I am but neither of us have ever looked down upon the other for our choices.

Post # 10
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think it comes down to priorities.  We’re having a fairly big budget wedding, which was a little shocking at first (we’re fairly frugal, non-materialistic people) until you realize that one thing my fiance and I share is a preference for experiential over material spending.  We will always choose the nice vacation over the fancy car, or good food and wine over new clothes.  We’re literally that couple that goes on vacation all the time, eats great food and wine constantly, and our apartment looks like a frathouse and our clothes are all falling apart.  (in wedding terms, our venue was about 20x the cost of my engagement ring)

I recognize that we’re lucky that we have the money to spend without going into debt.  But it’s also a matter of where we are in life – we have very little debt (one small student loan that’s currently in deferral at 0% interest – we’ll pay it off once we lose the ability to defer interest-free), live within our means, don’t plan on having children, are on track for retirement savings, and are 5-10 years at the earliest (probably more like 10-15 years) from looking at buying an apartment or house.  So at this point, spending the money for a weekend-long wedding with all our geographically scattered friends and family actually does feel like the most practical use.

Post # 11
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Also, this statement portrays the author’s preachy attitude pretty well:

“The number may be hard to wrap your head around if you’re used to thinking about things in terms of budgeting, saving money and all the other little things that go along with thinking hard about your personal finances”

How do people planning a $30K wedding not have to worry about saving and budgeting? And why does she assume that they did not consider their personal finances before doing so?

Post # 12
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@missmouse29 Yeah to me it seemed more that she was bitching over what people spend on their weddings rather than giving actual money saving advice. @entangled Me and my FI are the same way. We would much rather have an experience than a “thing” that can wear out, get lost or get broken. @Sking I am spending about 20 grand on mine so I am just a bit below average but I can tell you that I do still worry about my personal finances. It’s not like I am spending 20 grand all at once, it’s all spread out over a year and a half. So thank you for pointing out people do still care about their finances even when we have big weddings 😛

Post # 13
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Corilee13: Exactly. It seems to me that for most, having a big wedding is a huge exercise in saving, budgeting and spending many days caring intensely about your personal finances.

Post # 14
Member
2392 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Corilee13:  Yay experiences.  I have a bad habit of thinking of anything that takes up space as “stuff” and therefore undesirable.  Then I wonder why all my “stuff” is crap. 

I also like what Sking brought up about the total being the trigger.  That was an issue for us, as well.  When we first started planning, my fiance wanted to set a budget of 5-10k (preferably well under 5k) not because that’s what we could afford, but because he was morally bothered by the idea of spending more than that.  But he also wanted a venue that we could rent out for a full weekend, a Saturday night catered dinner, open bar for 10+ hours…

While it makes sense to do top-down budgeting so you don’t end up spending more than you can afford, sometimes especially when looking at other people’s weddings, it’s misleading if you don’t look at it from bottom-up and see how people end up getting to 20 or 30 thousand.  It’s not all ice sculptures and designer wedding gowns.

Post # 15
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I love all the judge-y comments

“I heard it told that the larger the wedding the quicker the divorce.”

OH REALLY

Post # 16
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Entangled No it isn’t. My wedding gown was $200 and from a china dress place. All of my decor and invitations and flowers are all DIY. My grandma is making my cake. BUT my venue is 12,000 (Which includes food and setup and everything). I really only have the one big expense because everything else is under $200. I felt that venue was important to the experience of everything.

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