Interesting Perspective from BF…

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

The old saying goes…

When a man talks LISTEN… and believe him… but ultimately what HE DOES with ACTIONS speaks louder than words.

So what he is telling you with:

“My feelings about TALKING about getting engaged are completely different  than my feelings on ACTUALLY getting engaged”.

That clearly shows that Statement A doesn’t always align with Statement B

So be aware that it can go BOTH ways… it is yours to determine which is which

Hope this helps,


Post # 4
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@Cinderella7:  I lol’d a bit at your ‘waiting meltdown’ post.  I’ve been there TOOOOO many times with my SO, and I’ve not once thought to refer to it as such…BUT IT IS LIKE A MELTDOWN.  It can be sooo frustrating.

You and I are in the same boat if it makes you feel better…My SO is NOT a talker, won’t have conversations with me about our wedding or dream about it at all.  Can be VERY frustrating.

But, every few months he checks in and lets me know it’s on his mind and while he’s still in school, still working towards getting a job….he wants it to happen after that.

OUR STORY:  SO and I have been delayed by life and it’s caused some of my meltdowns, but I’ve learned to deal with it soooo much better now.  Hopefully this helps you.

I agree with the first part of what @thistimeround said, when a man talks, listen!!  IMO, the majority of men don’t talk up wanting to be married because this is fun chatter for them.  As for the second part, only YOU can judge if your man is all talk and he is going to try and squeeze in ring shopping by the end of the year or if it’s just an excuse with your busy weekends to put it off til next year.

PS:  FWIW…I feel like this is why we women become waiting bees haha.  Men try and ‘hint’ around the proposal because in general, I think men have a fear of rejection.  So before they start saving for a ring/planning a proposal, they put it out there to see what our reactions will be.  I know that while I valued marriage and wanted it to happen sooner or later with Mr VB…it wasn’t until AFTER he brought up ‘me being his wife’ and told me in January it could be 1-2 years away…that I started to freak out.  (really?  That long!?!)  I’ve learned to deal with it better; this site has helped.

Good Luck!

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