Post # 1
Recently I moved out of where I had lived for the past 4 years. My fiancée had gotten a new job and we decided to find a location halfway between the two. Naturally my everyday routine was very different. I now take a commuter Train to work. The first couple times were fine, but after 2 or 3 rides I began to notice someone on the train. He was very handsome and I was very attracted to him. Recently, we ended up sitting next to each other (totally by accident) and he opened up conversation by making a joke that we had “the booth all to ourselves”. we realized we worked In the same industry, had many of the same interests and likes. I see him every morning and he asks how my day or weekend went. He is married and has a young child. For some reason I cannot stop thinking about him and wondering if he opened the floor for conversation for a reason. Of course this is awful and I’ve been owing my fiancée for 8 years and never had this issue. So, I was wondering what the bees would have to say about this.
Post # 3
I personally think having “getting to know you” crushes on people is natural. Just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean you suddenly find all other men repulsive. It’s when you feel that urge to take the attraction to the next step you need to be worried about And really think about what you’re doing.
Post # 4
Being attracted to other men is going to happen. But intentionally spending time with someone daily, whom you seem really compatible with and can’t stop thinking about = asking for trouble. If you always ride in the same car or area of the train, I’d start using a different one.
Post # 5
@Fashionbride45: Every so often my mind takes me on whirlwind romances with complete strangers. I run off with the cute guy at Panera, I leave my FI and marry the viking-looking guy who hit it off with me while waiting for a plane, I have a hot passionate night with the dude at the bar.
Looking is fine. Don’t touch. Guys will look at women and see them naked and in compromising positions. The female brain works differently, so we’re probably not seeing everyone naked in different angles every 30 seconds…but that doesn’t mean we can’t create our own fantasies. Just remember that they are fantasies. He’s married and off limits.
A lot of bees on here are often jealous and say you can’t have friends of the opposite sex without a physical relationship. I call shenanigans. Have a friendship with this guy, that’s fine. Just don’t do anything stupid while you are in a relationship. After 8 years with your partner, he deserves honesty!
tl;dr: Being attracted to someone is fine. Acting on it is bad. Friendship is fine. Crossing a line? Also bad.
Post # 6
That’s what I’d call a “friend crush”, which is pretty harmless…but I’d go ahead and try to put that “happened-for-a-reason” thought out of your mind.