(Closed) Interfaith: Kosher meal options for Shabbat wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Jewish
  • poll: Do we have to worry about providing Kosher meals for our Shabbat wedding?
    Yes, you rude heathen! : (9 votes)
    64 %
    Naw, the kosher-style buffet will be enough for the those that will attend. : (5 votes)
    36 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2381 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Ok, you shouldn’t have Kosher-style food that’s not actually Kosher.  That’s like serving a Indian buffet of vegetarian looking items that are secretly cooked with beef tallow.  Not cool for those who are observant.  It is Kosher, or it is not.  Your caterer should be able to provide a Kosher meal for those who request it, just like they provide a vegetarian meal. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1332 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    We are doing as close to Kosher as we can, which means we are having fish and vegetarian options with no meat at all.  So many choices to pick from and we settled on a menu with salmon, ravoili, lots of veggies and it is going to be amazing.

    Post # 6
    Member
    817 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo

    We had a note on our wedding website that if anyone needed a special meal of any type (including Kosher, gluten free, whatever) to let us know and we would order special meals for them. Everyone else ate off the buffet. We ended up special ordering I think 3 meals out of 125, and the caterer didn’t charge us any more.

    And yes, some people will keep Kosher but will still come to a Saturday wedding. There’s different levels of observation, and (in my experience) the whole not doing anyhting on the Sabbath thing is more strict than dietary restrictions, and therefore more people are likely to keep Kosher but skip the Sabbath restrictions. Not everyone, but you may have a couple.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1467 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    @knitB4zod:  Hope you didn’t order your RSVP cards yet… I would have a box that’s for dietary restrictions that they can check off, specifically with an option that’s Kosher. Have regulation kosher meals available for those folks, and for those who don’t report that’s their problem! This coming from a very Jewish person. Gotta meet halfway!

    And there’s no difference in eating kosher whether it’s shabbat or a bat mitzvah or anything- those who eat Kosher almost ALWAYS eat kosher

    Post # 8
    Member
    2381 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @knitB4zod:  Ah, that makes sense then.  And like in all faiths, everyone observes differently.  Someone may request a Kosher meal and still attend, some may not attend at all. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    7870 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    you can serve whatever you want. you don’t have to have kosher style food at a jewish wedding.

    i am jewish and have been to many jewish weddings that serve crab or meat and dairy together.

    if you do have people who require a kosher meal, why don’t you have them indicate on the response card that they need a kosher meal. 

    Does the Saturday bat mitzvah fall under different rules than a wedding would?  Does the very fact that it’s a Shabbat wedding make Kosher meals a moot point?

    I am not sure what you mean by this?  Kosher rules are the same across the board.  An orthodox jew is not going to travel on shabbat and may not even attend a ceremony before  sundown. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    7870 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @MariContrary:  you shouldn’t have Kosher-style food that’s not actually Kosher

    it’s kosher style because it is not kosher. .  when i was in hebrew school, and we went on feild trips, we had to eat kosher style.

    for example, i could eat a hamburger but i couldn’t eat a cheesebuger.  since you can’t mix meat and dairy.

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    2381 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @ajillity81:  I said that because his relatives could think that since he is Jewish, he would have Kosher options, so they might reasonably assume the buffet is ok to eat.  In the same sense that if a vegetarian attended the wedding of another vegetarian, they would likely assume that the vegetable dishes were not cooked with animal fat.  It’s why I suggested that the caterer would be able to provide a dish for those with dietary restrictions, and I agree with the PPs to have that option on the RSVP card to avoid confusion.

    Post # 12
    Member
    161 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    An Orthodox Jew won’t drive on Shabbat, so unless those family members stayed near the Reform temple and walked there, they likely weren’t Orthodox. On the other hand, many Conservative Jews won’t drive on Shabbat – except to travel to a temple or synagogue. And then many Jews don’t pay attention to those rules at all.

    There is no way of knowing what standard of kashrut you’ll need for the relatives without asking. If they are Orthodox and keep strict kashrut, the food will have to be cooked in a kosher kitchen and there are a host of other rules that need to be followed. For many Conservative Jews, the meat would have to be slaughtered in a kosher manner, but they’d also be fine with only eating vegetarian/dairy options.

    Even with all that said though, the saying is, if you find five Jews, you’ll find six different ways of keeping kosher (or Shabbat or any other rule). Even amongst my Convervative friends, we’re all different. One friend won’t eat pork, but does eat shellfish. Another won’t eat either. One will eat meat and dairy together, another waits 6 hours in between, another waits 3 hours in between, and one will eat dairy immediately followed by meat but waits hours between following meat with dairy. One will eat any meat, one only eats meat slaughtered according to Jewish rituals, and one eats only meat slaughtered according to Jewish rituals AND cooked only in a kosher kitchen.

    I appologize on behalf of my people that we’re so complicated. Smile I think you are going to have to make some phone calls to find out what works for these particular individuals if you really want to be accomodating. On the other hand, anyone who keeps strict kosher (and thus won’t even eat a dairy meal that isn’t prepared in a kosher kitchen) is used to needing to eat in advance of events.

     

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