(Closed) Interpreting Invite

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsN14:  If it’s addressed to him (no “and guest”) only he is invited. it does not matter if you are inviting both of them.


Post # 4
2296 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Generally though, if you’re inviting someone who is engaged you invite their fiance(e) as well.  Your FH should talk to his friend and clarify things, because it’s pretty rude to not invite you.

Post # 5
1299 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would also go with the thought that it is for the person it is addressed to and only that person since no plus one or and guest is included.

Post # 6
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You’re not invited, so your Fiance should just decline the invitation.

Post # 7
46265 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

We all know that an invitation is only intended for those named on the envelope.

We also know that many people have no idea about etiquette re how to address an invitation.

Your FI’s friends may have no idea that you shoud have been mentioned on the envelope.

Have your Fiance phone his friend “just to check if you meant this invitation only for me, or is ___ also invited”

Post # 8
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@julies1949:  +1.

My friend didn’t include my Fiance (then boyfriend) on any of the envelopes of my invitation, despite previously mentioning that we were both invited. I asked her before RSVPing, just to be sure, and she said of course he was invited. I later found out that I wasn’t the only one who this happened to, so I definitely recommend checking first. 

Post # 10
2553 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@julies1949:  I hate etiquette. Sometimes asking if somebody is invited just to “clarify” things can be seen as rude, right? Idk, lol.  At least thats what I’ve seen on here before. I’m always afraid of offending somebody.

Post # 12
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

It would appear that you aren’t invited since your name should be on the envelope, or at least an “and Guest…” I’m not sure if your fiance should try clarifying with them because it’s possible it was a mistake, but you don’t want to be pushy either. At the same time, if it was a mistake and your fiance only replies that he is going they may think you are declining for some reason and take it personally. Some things to think about.

Post # 13
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@MrsN14:  this is a tough one b/c we as brides all know that the name(s) on the invite are the ones invited.  having your fi call his friend to confirm can be a bit pushy.  again, we as brides will hate to be put in an awkward position like this.

you said the wedding is next month.  when is the rsvp date?   i would hold off on sending back the rsvp just yet.  will the four of you have the chance to get together before the wedding and you can casually mention their wedding?  perhaps the bride or groom will call your fi to confirm and at that time your fi can bring up the +1.

i know that we all hate late rsvp’ers but it’s a bit better than the other options.

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