Interracial coupling still a taboo?

posted 3 years ago in Intercultural
Post # 3
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

H & I are interracial, I am Sri Lankan and he is Canadian/Dutch/Irish. His family had absolutely no problem with it, neither did our friends. The biggest issue came from my parents. They actually forbid me from seeing/being with him and it was a whole big family issue. Marrying outside of our cultural was a huge insult to my parents and they felt that I was going against all their beliefs and our culture.

I told them i didnt care, and I stood my ground. DH stood by me as well and all the issues and after awhile my family did decide to accept it, and my boyfriend/FI/now husband. Things are much much better now and we both embrace our culture.

My advice is to try your best to ignore it, it may be hard but you cant let what other things and believe get to you. Those who truly belong in your life will support you and whoever you want to be with. Those who judge you because your FI isnt the same culture as you are really arent worth the effort.

 

 

Post # 4
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

I’m so sorry to hear you have been facing all these negative reactions, OP. Racism is still, unfortunately, present in our multicultural societies. 

Post # 6
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

Unfortunately, this is something that will never go away. I say handle it with class, people hate to be put in their place nicely. I have never experienced it personally, but my bf is biracial (white mother, black father) and at one point we lived in a very small racist town. Whenever we would be out with his mother (or both parents) people would give dirty looks and signs of disapproval. Some people in his own family dislike him and his other sisters simply because they are the product of an interracial marriage! Don’t allow anyone to see that it upsets you; that just makes them happy. 

Post # 7
Member
3010 posts
Sugar bee

@Sweetpeaontheweddingbee7:  I am mixed and at 35 I have dated white guys almost exclusively. I have never ever had anyone make any comments to me. I live in the northeast in a faily liberal area. My mom experienced this back in the 70s a great deal.

Post # 8
Hostess
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Sweetpeaontheweddingbee7:  My DH and I are not actually interracial, but me being mixed a lot of people from where I live just think I am white (unless they’re black, they can tell I’m mixed). There are a lot of interracial couples where I am…I don’t think I seen a lot of issues (unless like @TorontoBride2be it’s a family or cultural thing – other then a family that has many generations as being Canaidan). Not to say there isn’t racism here. I heard racism here runs under the surface, and in a way worse because it’s not in your face but more in between the lines (serveral of my American friends who experienced racism told me they prefered it out right rather then under the surface..their words not mine).

 I havn’t had too much things said, I heard a few people joke to my now hunsband about dating a white girl…then they found out I myself am half black. 

I used to not like my light skin…but I embrace it all now. 

 

 

 

 

Post # 9
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I’m a mixed race (hispanic/middle eastern) and my husband is white. My grandparents kind of had a little trouble accepting my mom when my parents got married, but no one batted an eye when I married my husband. Not that I would’ve listened anyway 😉

Post # 11
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’ve been living in the South for a year and yesterday it was the first time (literally the first time) that I saw a white dude with a black girl. Sadly the prejudice is very much alive.

Post # 12
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

@KingsDaughter:  I agree with you that it’s done under the surface, here. I remember when I told my parents I had met someone, my father said something like ”as long as he’s not Black or Arab” and my mother (whom I always thought was very open-minded) nodded and said ”and if he’s Arab, don’t get married”. That blew my mind. I would have hoped they said ”as long as he’s nice to you, respectful to you, puts you on top of his priority list, treats you like a queen, makes you happy …”. I was shocked they would say that and it made me very emotional. My fiancé is 100% Caucasian, just like me, by the way. But I was shocked and disappointed that my parents would ever feel this way about other humans. 

Post # 13
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@KingsDaughter:  “(unless they’re black, they can tell I’m mixed)”


This part called my attention. I would have never guessed you’re mixed. What do you think makes black people realize that you’re mixed? Facial features or something else?

Post # 16
Member
376 posts
Helper bee

I am white, he is Chinese. You would not EVER believe the looks and comments we get sometimes. People have asked and said the most unimaginable things to me, and they are usually direct attacks at him. I’ve ignored them, I’ve snapped back, and I’ve told people to mind their own business before. I’ve told people to go fuck themselves before. Nothing I have said or done has made it stop.

There’s no real way to deal with this. You get used to it, and then you find yourself being overly nice to those in interracial relationships because you KNOW they probably deal with the same crap.

Some people need to grow up and realize we’re in 2013, not the 1950’s.

If someone is going to judge the people you love by the color of your skin or theirs, then they are too shallow and simpleminded to be in your life and it will only do you good to cut them right out of your life. 

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