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We had the crib in the room with us and once she was asleep we'd just move her over. We also had a little privacy screen just in case she woke up! Then if she woke during the night I would get her and bring her back. Are you having a crib/bassinette at all or are you only cosleeping?
@dcdt212: We've planned on getting a crib, but it definitely wouldn't fit in our room with us. Even a bassinet would be kinda tight... and I know that baby probably wouldn't fit in it too long anyways.
I initially wasn't considering co-sleeping at all, but I think there are some great benefits to it so I thought I'd start askin some questions =)
The guest bedroom is a must when cosleeping. Also the shower, lol. Not gonna lie, the intimacy goes way down while cosleeping. Easier at first when the baby is tiny and unaware. The older the baby, the harder it is to find that time. Our daughter is 2.5 and still cosleeps. We love having her with us but it does get tricky.
I've always been told that co-sleeping leads to a higher risk of suffocation and death for infants. Also, that it is difficult to move your child into their own bed when you decide the time is right. I haven't done the research so I don't know if that's a matter of opinion or what but have you considered those factors along with intimacy?
@EmilyJean: In countries where co-sleeping in "normal" there's actually a lower rate of SIDS and have found it to be very beneficial. I had DS sleep in my bed at first consistently and then sporadically for quite a while (our circumstances had him in my room) but never had any issues with him sleeping in his own bed or bedtime on his own. I was single though so intimacy wasn't really an issue at the time. lol
We used an infant sleeper with a solid bottom, mesh sides, and a flap that is secured under the mattress. When he grew bigger, we moved him to a co-sleeper that attaches to the side of the bed.
@jjmomma: great! Thanks! So how do you and your DH deal with the intimacy issue? I know that there are other things that will go into how we co-sleep and such, but the intimacy part is a pretty big factor in consideration for me. I just don't think I could deal with not being able to for that long. lol
@amnystik: I deal with it better than DH. Honestly, I say we can just sneak off into the bathroom... but it does slow things down. When DS was unaware, it wasn't as difficult, but at 25 months we're feeling the loss. I just got what 7-9-11bride meant about the shower! lol I have tried to get DH to go for that, but he's a big guy (get your mind out of the gutter ;) and says the shower is too cramped for him. Honestly, we just try to sneak around, which means we're limited to when our older sons are at their friend's houses. If anyone else has better advice, I'm interested too.
To be honest, we moved the other boys into their rooms sooner... which is probably why we had more children in the first place! LOL
@amnystik: When DH complains about the lack of umm ya know I always offer to start transitioning our daughter to her big girl bed. He always says no way, he loves cuddling with his little girl at night. Priorities change when you have kids and you'll figure it out. Oh and as long as you haven't been drinking or unless one of you is a super heavy sleeper I wouldn't worry about suffocation. I always felt way safer having my baby so close to me.
@7-9-11bride: I've always felt safer too. After he outgrew the infant stage, I wasn't worried about suffocation.
When DD turned 3 she started getting into our bed every single night. So we had to move fun time to the living room. She's such a light sleeper, we're not moving her, we'll move.
@KatyElle: Fun time? lol... I seriously had to read that twice. The living-room gets old quick, and if you have older children, it's limited too.
Co-sleeping means the baby sleeps in the same room. Co-bedding means the baby sleeps in the bed with you.
We co-bedded until the baby was 6 months old. We usually took our opportunities when she was napping. Most of the time she napped in that baby sleeper thing jjmomma was talking about, and since it has the mesh sides, we could put it on the couch and she was fine napping there. We knew we would have like 2 hours per nap. As she got older we started putting her in the crib to nap. We didn't care that she was in the same room, she was sleeping so no biggie.
Now that she's older we aren't co-sleeping anymore and it's still hard to find private time!
@jjmomma: I wouldn't have known the difference before I read McKenna's book on it! A lot of people co-sleep with their babies and don't know it. ;-)
@MightySapphire: Apparently we were planning to co-sleep, are now co-bedding, and need to read up! lol
@jjmomma: We don't have any other children. I don't know, our living room is pretty comfortable, plus we have access to the kitchen for drinks, we have the tv for "inspirational" erm... viewing. For us it works out. She won't be sleeping in our bed until she's 12.
@KatyElle: I forgot that the living room is now our go to place!
She's 20 months now and we still have her crib in our bedroom because of financial reasons. She mainly sleeps in her "big girl" crib but will sometimes wake up during the night and crawl in with me. I should mention that FI works nights so we often get together very early in the morning before she's awake (since it's like his night time). You can find time for intimacy as long as you want it! You get very creative when your libido is running the show. ;)
@7-9-11bride: Yea.... I don't think I would care if DH was okay with it, I'd be like "Well I need some 'attention'" lol I already have DS so I know that for a period certain priorities will surely change, but that's a really important one for me. =)
@KatyElle: Yea... the living room is good at night b/c DS rarely wakes up and if he does he's upstairs anyways.... I still really like my lock on the door for some afternoon delight though! lol
@MightySapphire: Thanks for clarifying! I talked to DH about it today and he'd already assumed the baby would be in our room for atleast the first few months anyways so co-sleeping looks like the directions we'll be going for the first 6 mths till I can get a good sleep schedule down so baby doesn't disturb DS too much (they'll be sharing a room for the 1st year)
@dcdt212: Lol.. yea DH and I are already pretty creative with DS around. lol
Thanks so much ladies! I'm feeling better about it and know that even if it is imposing, it's not forever. lol
From the newborn to 3 months stage, DD slept in a co-sleeper attached to the bed or her bouncy chair. After that, she slept in her crib in the nursery at naps, and we put her in the crib first thing at night so we could have access to our bedroom without waking her up. We often clean or watch tv in the bedroom at night, so I wouldn't bring her to bed with us until we were ready to actually go to sleep. At 11-ish months, we transitioned her to her crib full-time. It worked out pretty well, so hopefully we'll use the same pattern with #2!
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Okay Co-Sleeping/er moms. I've been thinking about attachment parenting and co-sleeping and have only 1 concern.
How does it go with being intimate with DH while baby is in the bed?
I know that when baby comes intimacy goes down for a bit, especially while adjusting back to new baby schedule, but I don't think I'd be okay with it being prolonged more than it "needed" to.
We already have DS who's 7, so doing it else where really isn't an option most of the time.
And how does it go for nap-times?.. Baby sleep in crib during the day and with us at night? sigh.. so many questions. lol