Post # 1
Anybody having an EXTREMELY small and intimate DW and a AHR(at home reception) later?
we are getting married on a beach in maui and it will just be me, fi, our daughter, and my parents.
His dad offered a AHR or him attending the maui ceremony(his dad really wanted a AHR instead because he has never flown so far and he is single and doesn’t have anybody to bring with him to maui.) and FI chose AHR(He really wants to celebrate with his family and friends whom all live here. I dont have a single family member that lives on the continent of north america, thus why we chose a destination wedding in the first place) well, our ceremony is in 24 days and we have nothing planned for the AHR. I’ve bugged FI about it for over 3 months now and it was always “i dont want to think about it right now. im busy at work.” I told him things aren’t going to magically come together and these things require a lot of planning ahead. well we haven’t talked about it for about a month and last night I asked him if he wanted a AHR, and he says “isn’t it too late for it now?” what a dummy. he doesn’t want to plan for it and now thinks its too late now. /rollseyes. He was bummed because he wont have a reception and he wont have his dad at his ceremony either… I told him he should’ve just told his dad he wanted him at the ceremony instead. (his mom is a different story and we would rather not have her there and she didn’t want to go anyways) Why dont men understand the importance of planning AHEAD? /flaring nostrils
I told him that it was okay and common to have a AHR 2-3 months after returning from DW. not a full blown reception but just a gathering of friends and family for a sit down dinner and some music and dancing. we could show them our wedding video and share pictures and it would be fine. He said okay and that he would talk to his father soon so i can start looking into a venue. who knows if he is even going to talk to his dad about it. He sucks at communicating with his parents.
so ladies, have any of you done a AHR after a DW? how long apart was your DW and AHR?
Post # 3
Is your FI regretful his father won’t be at the ceremony? Maybe that’s why he’s being sulky about the reception?
If that’s not the case and it is work-related stress that’s keeping him from planning, you could plan it yourself. With FI’s blessing, you can call up his dad and discuss a date and a budget. Depending on the size of the budget, I dont think this will take a long time to plan at all. If you just choose a restaurant with a dance floor or a full-service venue, you could potentially have it all planned in 1 week (With no dress hunt and no ceremony yes, I mean 1week). I dont know when high wedding season is in Australia, but I do worry if you delay too long you will hit high season and it will be a nightmare to book anything.
Post # 4
Hi, we are planning really small destination wedding too (just two of us) and the reception/party at home later. We plan showing them our future video and pictures like you. But it´s more complicated with us, because I am Czech, and my fiance is Canadian, so we will probably have the reception as soon as we come back to Canada, but the second reception with all my family and friends will be probably in two or three months later, when my fiance will come to Czech R. I think 2-3 months is totally fine, at least you have enough time to organize it.
Since we are just at the start of planning, may I ask you about your wedding? We have no idea which destination we should pick, we don´t have a huge budget, but we want something beautiful, small (not a huge resort), with a secret beach, dinner on the beach, at the same time some adventurous island… Do you have some kind of wedding package or you arrange it all by yourself?
Post # 5
This is very similar to what we are planning. FI’s parents and his sister won’t be attending our intimate DW. We plan on having an informal AHR once we return (no dancing, but just dinner, some sort of cake/cupcake/dessert bar, and display our photos) a month or so after we get back. I don’t think you need to plan nearly as far in advance for your AHR either especially if you don’t need special equipment for dancing, etc. Maybe you can approach a restaurant or something and just inquire about setting up for a “reunion dinner” or a similar event.
Where are you planning on having your DW?
Post # 6
We chose Maui, Hawaii because its inbetween my hometown and his hometown. His family lives east coast in USA (we live here currently with our daughter also) and my whole entire family lives in Asia.
I just looked online for wedding coordinators at my destination. Also did research on local photographers, videographers etc etc so i could choose the ones I like. Our budget including plane tickets for 3 (me, FI and our 2 yr old daughter), Hotels, car rental etc is around 10k. plane tickets alone cost 3k so that was a big chunk of our budget. but other than that it wasn’t so bad. We are going to have our honeymoon there also. we figured we’re out there already, why not stay for a week and enjoy our time? my parents will be watching our daughter during the week that we’re there (they are staying at the same hotel with us but our daughter will be spending days and sleeping in their room) so that FI and I can have some what of a honeymoon 🙂
@canadajane: FI was sad that his father couldn’t go to hawaii AND host a AHR for him. But he couldn’t pick both 🙁
Post # 7
That sounds like a really great plan! I’ve never been to Hawaii either but I would love to go someday. It’ll be nice to have your parents there so they can watch your daughter, but still have the option to spend some family time together if you wish.
Post # 8
@tinkerbish: We had a home reception (midwest) one month after we got married (hawaii), then another wedding banquet (california) the weekend after the midwest celebration. We were crazy, LOL.
Post # 9
We’re having our four best friends to our DW, ad then my parents are hosting a nibbles&dancing do at home for 80 people. Get his Dad involved, it can’t hurt, particularly if FI is dragging his feet.
Post # 10
We’re having a DW with about 50 people, but still having an AHR after