Intimate vs larger? Unsupportive family :(

posted 2 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I do a smaller or larger wedding?
    Engagement pictures on dream location and intimate wedding : (6 votes)
    100 %
    Go all out and invite everyone, they are family after all! : (0 votes)
    I had an intimate wedding and I regretted it : (0 votes)
    I invited everyone to my wedding and regretted it : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    7654 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    The wedding isn’t the important part–the marriage is, and as long as you’re marrying the man you love and you’re HAPPY, that is all that matters. It will feel like a wedding because you’re getting married. I think if I were in your shoes, I’d have the small wedding and splurge on photos. Rather than engagement photos though I would do wedding photos a different day at the deer reserve with the manor honestly. It would be fun to put on your dress again too.

    Post # 3
    2 posts


    Firstly I’m sorry to hear your family aren’t supportive I’ve experienced some of this too so know where your coming from and it’s not easy. I agree withe first post in that the wedding day is just the start of your married life and your marriage is ultimately what is important. That said your wedding day is a right of passage and I honestly believe you should have the day you want and deserve. in my view I’d throw the rule book out, who do you actually want to share your special day with? sounds to me like it’s your close friends are the ones that are there for you etc. I’d combine that with your immediate family and who knows hopefully their enthusiasm might rub off on the rest of your family. You might not get that hallmark moment from your family but don’t compromise your day because of them it’s about you two so invite the people you care about and who are excited to share the day with you! 

    Post # 4
    265 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    BritishBride2015:  Option one is what we are doing. We are not inviting anyone who we would NOT normally invite to come and spend evening with us, or have a bbq or those who do not keep in touch. So our plan is


    a) invite close family only at a dream location( about 10-12 people) (for me that means the photographer i love, + live music for the ceremony + flowers) after the ceremony we go to a restaurant, we only proide champagne toast and no other drinks



    b) invite only close family and closest frends (about 20-25 people) with same as the above for the ceremony but a lighter less posh lunch – possibly finger food)


    It will be Am wedding with only people who care for us, who keep in touch. We dont want the whole day event, we dont want to spend a fortune on food for people who never call us, just because it is done this way. The money we save we will spend to go somewhere for a few days with the immediate family.


    Yes I will still feel like a bride and special. We will still cut the cake, and do the 1st dance right after the ceremony.

    I totally understand what you mean by feeling it will be over too soon – but when I was at my cousins wedding I saw his now wife sitting there ALL EVENING tired having to listen to everyones drunken speaches, even the people she never met before from the coousins side when she was tired and her dress chafing her horribly on her chest ( she showed me the scar later). 


    I want to be there with people I CARE ABOUT, not those that i barely know, how will THEY make me feel special, and a princess bride? LOL

    This is why the venue is important, the ceremony is important – I want to have flowers for the pictures, music for the mood, champagne for the toast. In the evening we hope to book immediate family ( 10 ppl somewhere special so we might have a bbq under the stars with people who really matter for a perfect ending to a perfect day).

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  AnnaVictoria.
    • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  AnnaVictoria.
    • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  AnnaVictoria. Reason: Sorry Im a bit sleepy so not sure if im making sense but your post realy hit home for me
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