After my FI recently talked me out of a DIY wedding cake (which I still know I could totally do, but he is right, it is too much stress/pressure/time), I began to wonder if my desire to do DIY is because I enjoy doing it and will use any excuse to go to Michael's, and I want to save money whereever we can, or am I actually just a control freak unwilling to trust others to do things for me. I am doing my own invitations, place cards, programs, favors (if we do them at all, not sure yet), reception music, veil, and even writing the script for the ceremony. Maybe I do need to let go a little.
I am normally very crafty, and would have loved to DIY everything - but I am actually paying to have almost everything done for me. I am still occasionally sad about that, but my mom was right to insist - I just don't have time. I'm working more than 40 hours a week, getting my house ready for FI and his kids to move into, helping him get his house ready to sell, and on top of that his son graduates high school (this Friday) so there is all the getting ready to go off to college stuff. I would be a crazy woman if I had stacks of paper and tissue and half-finished projects everywhere on top of this. And I love all the wonderful things that other people have made for me, and I did do a lot of the design work, but still... I console myself planning future garden parties with throwie paper lanters, thinking of the fantastic Christmas cards I plan to Gocco, planning tissue pomadors in Christmas colors to use for bows. For me its more about how much I would really have enjoyed all the crafty stuff associated with the wedding, but it's not like this is the last time I'll ever have the chance. And it will be more enjoyable to make 40 Christmas cards than it would have been to make 120 wedding invitations, without a doubt.
Hey DrB there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to take control of your wedding and being a DIY-diva! This is an event that will only take place once, and of course you want to make sure that you get all the details down just right--but keep in mind that some projects are better left to others! For example, the wedding cake is a task that (while not knowing you) I'm sure you can handle, but why do you want to? You might forget to enjoy this whole experience if you're too stressed out with projects.
btw, lots of bees and readers here have completed their own invitations, place settings, menus you name it! so i say if you're creative and want to save money, go for it! just set some limits for yourself!
I should also point out our wedding is super simple and smallish (50 people) and that I do not need to do ANY venue or ceremony decorations, centerpieces, or set-up, so my DIY is also easier because there isn't as much to do as at other peoples weddings. I am also doing my own flowers, but only because we are just having simple bouquets and boutineers, no large arrangements. And we are doing our own rehearsal dinner (casual BBQ with a Halloween theme!)
Letting go a little might go a long way toward your sanity. It sounds like you need to strike a balance between personalizing and DIYing stuff you enjoy and delegating other things that are too much time/pressure/stress/work.
I think the reception music would fall in the same category as your cake: reception music = lots of stress and work to make a good playlist, big impact at the party, but once it's over, it's gone = delegate it. To economize, maybe a musical friend could make playlists for you and rent DJ equipment? Or get a recommendation for a good DJ.
On a similar line, I would say, favors = lots of work to DIY, minimal impact (people throwing them away, or forgetting to take them, or eating them if they are food) = get something premade so you don't go crazy over something really small in the grand scheme of things.
Or, invitations = lots of work to DIY, medium impact, keepsake value high = DIY because it's something central to the wedding you'll be able to hold on to.
Incidentally, I see from your profile that we are wedding date twins! Hurrah November 1!
After my FI recently talked me out of a DIY wedding cake (which I still know I could totally do, but he is right, it is too much stress/pressure/time), I began to wonder if my desire to do DIY is because I enjoy doing it and will use any excuse to go to Michael's, and I want to save money whereever we can, or am I actually just a control freak unwilling to trust others to do things for me. I am doing my own invitations, place cards, programs, favors (if we do them at all, not sure yet), reception music, veil, and even writing the script for the ceremony. Maybe I do need to let go a little.
posted by DrB 107 posts 6 months agoI am normally very crafty, and would have loved to DIY everything - but I am actually paying to have almost everything done for me. I am still occasionally sad about that, but my mom was right to insist - I just don't have time. I'm working more than 40 hours a week, getting my house ready for FI and his kids to move into, helping him get his house ready to sell, and on top of that his son graduates high school (this Friday) so there is all the getting ready to go off to college stuff. I would be a crazy woman if I had stacks of paper and tissue and half-finished projects everywhere on top of this. And I love all the wonderful things that other people have made for me, and I did do a lot of the design work, but still... I console myself planning future garden parties with throwie paper lanters, thinking of the fantastic Christmas cards I plan to Gocco, planning tissue pomadors in Christmas colors to use for bows. For me its more about how much I would really have enjoyed all the crafty stuff associated with the wedding, but it's not like this is the last time I'll ever have the chance. And it will be more enjoyable to make 40 Christmas cards than it would have been to make 120 wedding invitations, without a doubt.
posted by suzanno 1,978 posts 6 months agoHey DrB there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to take control of your wedding and being a DIY-diva! This is an event that will only take place once, and of course you want to make sure that you get all the details down just right--but keep in mind that some projects are better left to others! For example, the wedding cake is a task that (while not knowing you) I'm sure you can handle, but why do you want to? You might forget to enjoy this whole experience if you're too stressed out with projects.
btw, lots of bees and readers here have completed their own invitations, place settings, menus you name it! so i say if you're creative and want to save money, go for it! just set some limits for yourself!
posted by mrsbic 51 posts 6 months agoI should also point out our wedding is super simple and smallish (50 people) and that I do not need to do ANY venue or ceremony decorations, centerpieces, or set-up, so my DIY is also easier because there isn't as much to do as at other peoples weddings. I am also doing my own flowers, but only because we are just having simple bouquets and boutineers, no large arrangements. And we are doing our own rehearsal dinner (casual BBQ with a Halloween theme!)
posted by DrB 107 posts 6 months agoLetting go a little might go a long way toward your sanity. It sounds like you need to strike a balance between personalizing and DIYing stuff you enjoy and delegating other things that are too much time/pressure/stress/work.
I think the reception music would fall in the same category as your cake: reception music = lots of stress and work to make a good playlist, big impact at the party, but once it's over, it's gone = delegate it. To economize, maybe a musical friend could make playlists for you and rent DJ equipment? Or get a recommendation for a good DJ.
On a similar line, I would say, favors = lots of work to DIY, minimal impact (people throwing them away, or forgetting to take them, or eating them if they are food) = get something premade so you don't go crazy over something really small in the grand scheme of things.
Or, invitations = lots of work to DIY, medium impact, keepsake value high = DIY because it's something central to the wedding you'll be able to hold on to.
Incidentally, I see from your profile that we are wedding date twins! Hurrah November 1!
posted by chelseamorning 216 posts 6 months ago