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@Snow2bunny: If you sent an STD ettiquite dictates you need to send an invite. An STD basically says, you are invited, save the date for us and make your travel plans.
It is very rude to send someone an STD and then not send them an invite.
@KatNYC2011: Okay, thank you very much. I want to do the proper thing so we will send the invites.
Technically, yes, you need to send invites to anyone who received STDs. Maybe if the friendships aren't there anymore, they won't come?
@Snow2bunny: I didn't send the invites. I am usually an etiquette freak, but I had a friendship end terribly during that time frame. I voted to be comfortable at my wedding rather than stick to all the rules.
If you sent the STD, it's pretty rude not to send an invite. I had a couple people in this situation though (sent an STD, but friendship had faded before the wedding), and they RSVPed no, as expected. We did the right thing as far as etiquette goes, and we still didn't have to worry about the numbers.
@mwitter80: Thank you that's very good advice. I do want to do the right thing but geez some of these I could care less whether they show up and honestly with how much we are paying per plate it's not worth it. I think I will keep thinking about it some more. Thanks for sharing, I don't feel so alone on thinking this way.
@bluebonnet: Thank you, I too just hope that they RSVP no and that will help. They are just the type people that will show up regardless of the friendship or not for the free food and drinks ya know (the moochy type) anyway thanks for your thoughts. I appreciate it!
I'm in agreement - unfortunately, if you send a STD, you have to send an invite as well. If you think the friendship has fizzled, though, perhaps they feel the same way and won't make the effort to attend?
@karengoblue: Thank you very much for your thought on this. It helps to see what is expected or proper. I too hope they just wont come or rsvp no. Thanks again.
Obviously they feel the same about you as they are not contacting you either. So I certainly wouldn't expect them to come to the wedding.
You have already invited them by sending them an STD. The invitation is really just following up with the details. Once you have told someone to save your date, you have to follow up with the details.
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Hi bees,
I'm just looking for thoughts on this. We sent out our STD a while ago and now have some people that received a STD but we don't wan to invite? Realizing the friendship really isn't there anymore and numbers are filling up quick due to family coming we weren't expecting. Not sure if we should send the invite anyway since they got a STD or not send one? Thanks ladies.