Post # 1
My husband & I received an invitation to my niece’s wedding. We haven’t spoken with her parents for a few years after a falling out with them & other members of my family. We had intentions of attending the ceremony if it tood place in a church or courthouse but it’s at her parent’s home. We feel that weddings can be a joyous occasion when shared with family & friends but not an occasion to “bury the hatchet”. We would like to decline, is their a need to explain that to them or just a thank you but no?
Post # 3
@Ande: That is awkward.
Did you have a good relationship with your niece before the falling out? They could be trying to bury the hatchet, but it could also be that your niece wanted to invite you.
I wouldn’t explain that you don’t wish to attend because of the falling out. I would just decline. I would also send a gift and a nice card to your niece, wishing her and her husband well.
Post # 4
Decline and maybe send a gift and a nice card wishing her well.
Post # 5
No we really didn’t have a close relationship with our niece, when she was younger yes but now I think this is a family obligation mindset. I like the idea of declining, no explanation & sending a gift.
Post # 6
I think you should tell the neice why you’re declining. Just because you got in a fight with her parents is no reason to take it out on her with no explanation. Politely explain that the tension in your relationship would detract from her day, and that (perhaps) you’d like to meet her and her new husband for a happy hour or dinner at some point to congratulate them. I would also send them a gift, because not doing so looks petty.
I come from the mindset that family is family regardless of bad blood, and saying no and not explaining your absence from a wedding to the bride and groom just because you don’t get along with her parents, and don’t want to put that aside for a day, is not okay. If someone did this to me, especially after I extended an invitation to the happiest day of my life, I’d be really hurt.