Post # 1
Hi bees. Simple question for you:
I received an invitation for a wedding in the end of July 2012. RVSP deadline is May. Do I RSVP now (and run the risk of change of plans by then, say a holiday, etc), or wait until nearer the RVSP deadline (run the risk of losing the invitation / forgetting to RSVP).
Also: the bride & groom asked for money towards their honeymoon. Do I send a cheque with the RSVP, or inside a card on their wedding date??
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards
I’m guessing they send the invitations this early so people will make their plans around the wedding. If you aren’t close enough to them to do that, I guess it’s okay to hold the invite for a little while.
I would not send a check with the RSVP. Give them to them in a separate card.
Post # 4
I voted that you RSVP closer to the deadline in case your plans do change. I also think it’s more “the norm” to bring your cheque to the wedding inside a card and not to mail it with the RSVPs.
Post # 5
@Mrs. Ginger: If you aren’t going to attend, I think it’s fine to include the check with the RSVP. If you plan on attending the wedding, I’d put it in the wedding card. There isn’t anything wrong with waiting a little bit to RSVP, just make sure to put the invited somewhere you won’t forget-like on the fridge.
Post # 6
They asked for money in the wedding invitation?
Post # 7
I sent mine out a little early because we had to have a count early. It drive me nuts when I got most of my RSVP’s the two weeks leading up to the deadline. I know the deadline is there for a reason but to me, that is the absolute LASTEST to send it in. Anytime I get invites in the mail early I assume it was for a reason and go ahead and RSVP with what I know. It also gives me plenty of time to make sure I am off work and don’t make other plans.
Post # 8
I would be so mad. I think that is so rude how people EXPECT you to plan your life AROUND their wedding by trying to force you to RSVP so early! (unless it is possibly a destination wedding.) [the obnoxious B in me would deliberately send the rsvp in the day before it was due…]
And they asked for money for their honeymoon? IN the wedding invitation?!?! (what exactly was the wording?)
wow…ugly, monogrammed towels would be what they would be getting from me, for sure!
Post # 9
@red_rose: ugly monogrammed towels- LOL!!!
Post # 10
I would already know I wouldn’t be attending such a wedding, so would promptly send in my RSVP no.
There are so many etiquette blunders in this “invitation” I don’t know where to stop.
If you plan to attend I would wait until you know for sure that you can make it. You wouldn’t want to have to cancel later.
Give whatever gift you want, and don’t feel pressured to give a cash gift up front because they have asked. A completely appropriate response to any question is “NO”
Post # 11
I’m not sure this is too early- I think they are trying to be nice and help you plan around their wedding. Giving you the option to plan your summer knowing about their wedding. I think they sent it out instead of STD, trying to save money on their account.
For the gift, if you know youa re sending a check to help with their honeymoon- send it whenever, maybe not with the RSVP, but maybe send a card a bit closer but before the wedding with check in it?
Post # 12
I think that is absolutely ridiculous to send invitations out that early. On a budget or not, that’s what STD’s are for if they want you to make plans accordingly. I spent maybe $20 making my STD’s by hand, and it was so much only because I ‘splurged’ on a stamp from Etsy for about $9.
I would wait until closer to the RSVP deadline to actually respond. Plus, if they asked for money in the invitation I would be getting them something hideous and monogrammed so they couldn’t return it.
Post # 13
Wow. To that was sent out early is an understatement, and isn’t such a great idea in practice even though alot of people want to do it anyway. I’d wait until the proper rsvp time (2-3 weeks before the wedding). Keep the invite and reply card in a safe place where you won’t lose it.
It’s rude to ask for money to finance the honeymoon or even the wedding itself, since both are entirely the couple’s responsibility. If I received that note on an invite, I would ignore it and just take a card.
Post # 14
I would say hold onto the RSVP for now, put the date in your diary and send it to them nearer the time, or whenever they do a chaser call to you (if they are keen to get them back!)
I would give money/cheques at the wedding itself, I always feel bad going to the wedding party and not having something in my hand to give to the happy couple, even if I had given them something already 🙂
Post # 15
@Roe: They did, towards their honeymoon… lol maybe i worded it wrong, they didn’t “ask” for money hehe. They said that if we wanted to give them a gift they’d appreciate money towards their honeymoon!
Post # 16
@red_rose: lol I think I worded it wrong, I’m sorry!!! They just said that if we wanted to give them a gift they’d appreciate money towards their honeymoon! They didn’t write: “Please give us some money” LOL!!