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If they send gifts, write a thank you note. I don't think there is a need to write a thank you for attending the ceremony.
This is getting to be common practice in my area:
We invited only family and close friend to the wedding. However, we've invited everyone else to join us for our dance afterwards. In our city, this is becoming the norm, and everyone who is invited to the dace knows that a gift/card is not expected required, since they are not invited for the meal.
Would something like that work for you? Cause then you can party it up and spend time with them. If you invite them to the ceremony, but not the reception/dinner, you likely won't get a chance to see them.
@Elle_Neotoma: The thank you would probably be a favor on their way out of the church.
@lesliefrish: I am actually old-fashioned enough that I LIKE this practice, even though it is nowadays denigrated as a "two-tier" wedding.
Used to be, in a day and age when most people lived in small villages that had only one church and pretty much every wedding took place at the church, that everyone who wanted to, went to any wedding. Either the family or the Church Women's Auxiliary would make sure there was lemonade and cake after the service, and people could take away a little slice of cake to put under their pillows that night and dream of future love (that was the origin of the modern "favour", starting with little white boxes or pretty wrappings for the tiny take-away cake slices and evolving into today's elaborate "unique" schemes.) Then afterward, the families would go to the Bride's home to continue the party -- hence the origin of "reception cards" to be slipped in to only those invitations where the guest was considered close enough to be included with the family. Invitations were considered equivalent to announcements -- go or don't go, no gift required, no R.s.v.p. either, the church is public property anyway -- and everyone KNEW that no gift was being sought.
Now, I am not quite in my decrepitude, so I imagine I am not the only one who remembers this state of affairs. I don't see any reason why you shouldn't continue it. But a slice of cake and a few minutes after the service to tell the bride how lovely she looks is something your ceremony-only guests should be able to expect.
@lesliefrish: Some churches are public places and anyone can attend the service. But I wouldn't formally invite anyone to just the ceremony. You can do the reverse, but the reception is a way to thank people for attending your event. It is not polite to invite someone to any event and then not properly host them.
If asked by the residents, I would just say that you can, unfortunately, only invite family and close friends but they are more than welcome to come to the ceremony.
In regards to inviting residents, I would stick to the "all or none" to avoid conflicts, that's just my opinion.
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I've read a few posts on this topic, some pros, mostly cons. I'm still not sure what to do so I thought I'd get some feedback. My fiance and I are paying for our wedding, so we're trying to limit or guest list to our closest family and friends (100). I work in higher education as a Resident Director, and have a lot of residents I feel close to. A bunch of them have already asked me if they are invited. Since we're getting married in a church, I thought about spreading the word, probably through facebook and word of mouth, that they can come to the ceremony at the church. I would not expect gifts from them, and will probably offer a thank you in some way for their attendance. Thoughts?