Invitation Do's and Don'ts SIL BIL Families

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Principessa Bunny:  No. They’re not related to me. SIL/BIL married into our family, their parents and siblings did not. We were moderately close to FI’s sister’s parents-in-law (went to same church as FI, and SIL already had kids so we saw them at birthday parties); and still didn’t invite them.

Post # 4
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My mom asked us to invite my SIL’s sister but we refused. She has multple siblings and her parents are divorced/remarried so I thought it would be weird to single out one member of their family. Plus we aren’t even friends, much less close to them. Odd.

Post # 5
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I didn’t invite any of my BIL’s family, even though I know them and see them at my nephew and niece’s birthday parties. Nor did I invite my sister’s mother, even though I’ve known her all of my life.

I guess if you have a good relationship with them outside of being polite at gathering, then invite them. For example, my SIL, husband’s sister, is friends with and has hung out with my sister and our cousin, so in that case I could see her inviting them to her wedding if she gets married. But if you’re just on a first name basis with each other and that’s it, I wouldn’t.

Post # 6
677 posts
Busy bee

SO’s mom and stepdad, grandparents, and older brother were invited to SO’s BIL’s sister’s wedding, but they’re the ones who travel to England to see SO’s sister and her family regularly, while SO and his younger brother don’t (no money to travel). SO’s mom will probably want us to invite SO’s BIL’s parents to reciprocate, and since she and SO’s dad will be footing the bill, we’ll say yes.


Post # 7
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Principessa Bunny:  I’m inviting my brothers girlfriend’s sister & her husband. But we have all went out together before. And I’m pretty sure my brother will marry this girl. 

Post # 8
11300 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

No. I can’t stand FSIL’s family, not to mention the fact that 6 weeks to the RSVP due date, she posted on my Facebook wall (yes, the wall, not a private message) asking if I could invite them. NO NO NO. I’ve met them a couple of times, can’t effing stand them. Her dad is incredibly racist, and her mother is just like her–super sweet to the point where it is gratingly fake. We cut out several of FI’s close friends to accommodate his huge family–why would I want to invite people we don’t like in their place? No thanks.

Post # 9
526 posts
Busy bee

I didn’t know about this etiquette item until I had family get upset that MY parents weren’t invited to my DH’s brother’s wedding.  DH wasn’t married yet when we got married so I didn’t know/think to invite SIL’s family.  I like her family, but not so much her.  I would have LOVED to have my parents at her wedding though for company, DH was best man and they insisted on a head table, and hours of pictures.  awkward. 

I like this idea, if you can swing it and don’t mind their company, because it would make mixed family get togethers much less awkward in the future. 

Post # 10
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Principessa Bunny:  I have a sister, but she is not married, and I am not inviting her BF for a few reasons which I don’t want to get into bc he is not worth me typing about. But I will tell you my own sister doesn’t even want him there, she wants to break up with him lol…


My FI is NOT inviting his SIL’s inlaws. We cannot stand them. If we had a better relationship with them, we might have invited them. But seeing as how our guest list went a lil crazy we would have regretted inviting them. But we aren’t close with them at all, so therefore, we are happy they won’t be there!

Post # 11
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My brother’s wife’s parents are attending the ceremony, but not the reception. They will be taking the baby home with them after the ceremony, allowing my brother and SIL to relax and unwind at the reception instead of being on baby duty. My SIL’s parents are good people I’ve known pretty much my whole life, but we aren’t particularly close – not close enough to invite to the wedding, anyway, especially given how tight we’ve had to keep our list due to physical space limitations.

Post # 12
10454 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I did.  I don’t know them well, but I had met them before, and they were invited more as an extension of my parents, and less so of me directly.  My MIL&FIL also came to my sister’s wedding.

Post # 13
1499 posts
Bumble bee

None! The only ones of course being FSIL is getting married this summer, and will be a new step-mom! I would obviously be inviting those kids, but none of their family!

Post # 14
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We happily invited my SIL’s parents (without anyone asking us to) because my family has been close with them for many years and my fiance had met them several times and they were incredibly welcoming.  They are like family to us, we celebrate holidays together, etc., so there was no question that we would want them to celebrate our wedding with us.  I think it’s all a matter of the closeness of your relationship and, if you’re not close with them, whether family politics suggest it would be best to invite them anyway.  Good luck!

Post # 15
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

FI and I are considering inviting SIL’s parents to the wedding. We all get along great, but we’re having a small wedding, so we’ll have to see how the guestlist adds up.

Post # 16
2073 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

When we initially made a tentative guest list, my FI thought he should include his brother’s wife’s parents.  I looked at him like he grew a third eye lol.  Yes, they’re incredibly friendly and kind, they know who we are and we’ve even spent a few nights at their house (BIL and SIL live 6.5 hours away from us, when we all go into the city for a night, we all stay at her parents). 

Because we all live so far apart, if her parents are in town the same time as us, we see them.  BUT they are not our family, our guest list is larger than we’d like to begin with, so they aren’t invited.  There’s certain friends/fam who likely won’t be invited either so why would we invite our inlaw’s fam?  

I think if you’re very close to them and see them a lot then sure.  We see SIL’s parents maybe once a year… and often just briefly, or for a dinner. 

But that’s my experience.. Could be different for others

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