Post # 1
I have spent 2 days creating my invitations on Photoshop. It took me 2 weeks to decide on the wording & I really like it b/c my FI and I have been together for a really long time. My soon to be mother in law called me today and told me she liked my invitations but she wants me to include her and his father names because she is inviting people that won’t know who her son is if their names aren’t included. She said that some people think that her youngest son is her only son since my FI has been gone from home so long.
My first thought is that 1st of all, they have invited too many guests in the first place. They have 140 & I have 30-40. Second, I told her that was an issue & that she needed to scale back the list, but she insisted that most everyone was close friends and family. How is it then that someone may not know who her son is???
Second, they are not contributing to the wedding. They’re only doing the rehearsal dinner (In which her sisters are cooking the food.)…I’m not obligated to put their names on the invitations if they’re not hosting, right??
So should I just do it anyway to please her (Although I really don’t like the way formal invitations sound with parent names on them & considering I hadn’t added my own parents that ARE paying for the wedding).
Or should I leave it the way it is and go with my feeling that if guests don’t know me OR my FI then they shouldn’t even be coming to the wedding anyway?? (And save some of my budget for food!)
Post # 3
I would just leave it. If she is really concerned that they won’t know who is inviting them to the wedding, then she can tell them verbally (e.g. “Hi Jane and John! Just wanted to give you a head’s up that my son Joe is getting married! We sent you an invitation and hope you can make it!”).
I also think that people should know the couple if they are attending a wedding. However, I understand social obligations, so I can see where she is coming from, sort of.
Post # 4
@lilbluebird: Thanks, I agree. She can call them if they don’t RSVP anyway.
Post # 5
If you leave their names off then maybe these extra people she invited really won’t know who the wedding is for and will RSVP “no” 🙂 Could help with the “extra guests who don’t even know FI” problem!
Really though, I would definitely leave them off. My parents helped as much as they could with our wedding and his family didn’t help at all so I obviously didn’t think his parents needed to be listed and I knew my parents wouldn’t care either way. Ultimately, it’s up to you. Your FMIL shouldn’t be telling you how to plan your wedding.
Post # 6
@ebberz0225: I would just tell her that it’s tradition to put the names of the people who are hosting the event and since they’re not hosting the event, you didn’t think it was right to put their names on it, in addition to the fact that you don’t want anyone’s names on it because you don’t like how it looks, so even though your own parents are hosting the event, their names aren’t even on it. I would use the terms “hosting” as opposed to “paying”… Good luck dealing with that one!
Post # 7
@futuremrsk18: Thanks. I agree. [email protected] “good luck” part
@mimsmims7: My thoughts exactly 🙂
Post # 8
I think you should go with the invitation as is. It would have been more of an issue if they had paid for the entire wedding. However, as that’s not the case I think you should explain that you prefer the more informal wording. If she persists, tell her that you would be delighted if she could help you to follow up with the people that don’t respond.
Post # 9
@eocenia: Thanks! I will say that actually. I hadn’t thought of putting it that way. 🙂
Post # 10
@ebberz0225: Glad I could help and good luck! Family can have unrealistic expectations when it comes to weddings, so you’ll have to hold your ground!
Post # 11
Leave it as is. It is your wedding not hers. I would say already printed too late.
Post # 12
Unless they are paying for the wedding, they are not really included on the invite. The names on the invite show who’s hosting. If she’s paying though, she does get a say.
Post # 13
@ebberz0225: I think you should leave it…. For instance in my situation, my FI’s parents are divorces and his step-mom would be upset if her name wasn’t on there… and technically my FI was raised by his grandparents anyways….so I didn’t include any parent’s names at all…It’s both yours and your FI’s day!!! No one else’s…and if those guests don’t recognize your names…then they are not part of your life anyways… just my opinion
So I worded it like this;
Because you have shared in
our lives by your friendship and love, we
together with our parents
invite you to share
the beginning of our new life together when we exchange marriage vows
on Saturday, the eighth of June
two thousand thirteen at two o’clock
Followed by a Reception
at six o’ clock in the evening
Le Banquet Hall