Invitation "etiquette"

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2878 posts
Sugar bee

@alditt14:  I would not. I expect from the invitation to be clear about what’s expected of us. Ex.: in my area it is common for people to ask their guest to pay for their meals. I hear you scream out there, but I’ll just talk according to me, because it IS normal to me : no, that would not offend me. Nor would it offend me to read something related to a wishing well, envelopes welcome, honeymoon fund that can be googled at this URL, bring your own wine, etc. Basically, I am happy and touched that you’ve thought I was significant enough in your life to receive an invitation to your wedding, and I’m waiting to see what I need to do. 

Now of course if demands are extravagant (especially if we’re not that close), yeah I might take offense in your invite and would probably not go. But since it has never happened, I don’t worry about that. 

Post # 4
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@alditt14:  I only check for spelling mistakes, I am sort of a (spanish) grammar nazi lol.

But, no, I am nowhere near a ettiquete snob or anything.

Post # 5
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’d only notice if they spelled my name wrong or something. All that formal etiquette is bullshit to me. I don’t need to have a title in front of my name or have my presence formally requested or things like that. 

Post # 6
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It is a bit heavy handed to specifically state “no children.”  That may well offend some people.  Essentially, rather than saying who IS invited, it says who is NOT invited.

Post # 7
Member
5192 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

No.  If you are my friend I’m just delighted to be invited.  I’m not going out of my way to judge you.  Most people just want an invite that gets the job done with the right info.  Bonus points if it’s pretty.  

If you do something like call me by my husband’s last name (I didn’t change my name) I don’t care a hoot.  I’m not so self obsessed as to think that everyone who’d ever invite me to a wedding knows details like that, or the title I like to be addressed by, or whatever.  The reality is that most of us live in a pretty informal world.

 

Post # 8
Member
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

@alditt14:  Before wedding planning no I have not noticed. But now I would examine it more so for design and stuff. Do you mean etiquette wording? Or who the invitation is sent to?

Post # 10
Member
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

If it’s poorly worded and repetitive and all I said was that’s lame she said the same thing 3x in this invitation.

Post # 11
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@alditt14:  I would poll some people in your social circle, to see how people might feel about that.

Post # 14
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

@alditt14:  When you have a conversation with someone, do you really study it to make sure that it is grammatically correct? Or do phrases such as “I seen” and “comprised of” just leap out at you and make you wince because bad grammar is obvious? Etiquette is a language that I speak fluently. I do not need to study an invitation intently to see whether it is correct. It either is correct and obviously so, or the flaws leap out at me.

Am I offended? That is a separate question. Usually not, because bad etiquette like bad grammar says more about the person who originates it than about the people on the receiving end. There are, of course, bad manners that are also overt unkindnesses — those can hurt, or “offend”. But they are offensive because they are unkind, not because they are technical violations of the narrow strictures of etiquette. Most of the time, though, I would rather listen to a friend’s bad grammar than not have a friend to talk with; and I would rather overlook a friend’s bad etiquette than point fingers at her.

 

Post # 15
Member
236 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think people care that much anymore about actual formalties, as long as all the relevant info was there. 

 

I also LOVE that you’re putting the no kids thing out there, I’ve had several other brides tell stories of the lengths people have gone to circumvent or ignore what should be an etiquette appropriate “no kids” invitation.  We haven’t sent out invites yet, but we put right on our website (which went out with STDs) that it was an adult only event. I read so many blogs saying that was a huge faux pas, but people DO NOT GET IT, or they don’t care.  Kudos! 

Post # 16
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@alditt14:  To which you are inviting the people you care about.  You should care about how they feel about you and your wedding.

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