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I think it is proper etiquette, but seems pointless! :(
I'm sure it is just 'the thought' and 'the courtesy'
It is proper etiquette, and you never know, whatever they had planned may fall through and they end up coming anyway! Besides, how would you feel in their shoes? What if one of your FI's friends was getting married, but you had to work and couldn't come. Wouldn't you feel a little hurt if your name wasn't included on the invite?
Yes, you should definitely still send them an invitation to make sure that they know that you wanted to include them! Plus, things change and they might be able to come. Also, they might want to send you a gift and probably won't do so if you don't actually invite them.
yes, you're still supposed to invite them even if they've already told you no.
It's up to you but I would probably send them an invite because the invitation to attend is still open and anything is possible before your wedding day and there may be something come up that allows them to attend. If someone really wants to attend, they will do whatever it takes to get there. That line of thinking that someone says a year or two ahead that they absolutely cannot make it doesn't make sense to me unless you have a job that requires you to be at work on a specific day (most don't), since no one can see that far into the future and say that something absolutely is not possible.
I don't know what the "proper" etiquette is, but I'm planning on sending invites to those who already let me know they can't attend, just so they know I would have loved to have them there! I will probably include a note expressing as much, so they don't think I'm asking for a gift.
Yes! I would...I have a few guests who already told us they wont be able to make it, but I planned on sending them an invite anyway. I also know a lot of my extended family wont be attending (they didn't come to my brothers either), but I feel like I have to send them an invitation anyway because they are family. Ijust feel it's the "right" thing to do in both cases
Yes and yes. It's the least you can do for the people you'd like at your wedding whether they can attend or not. I don't consider that as a waste; it's a kind and considerate gesture.
Yep, I did! My family in Florida can't make the wedding but I still sent them an invite! And like somebody mentioned, they may change their plans and be able to come.
I would send an invite. I think its a nice way to include them and express your desire to have them involved in your special day - that sentiment is important regardless of whether they'll be able to come or not.
Think about it this way too...its a reminder to them that you are getting married, so maybe they'll still buy you a wedding gift! (Not to be totally selfish or anything, but hey, just trying to point out the potential positives on sending a "wasted" invitation!)
I definitely would. You never know if their plans may suddenly change and they can come - you wouldn't want them to think they weren't invited! Plus, it's a nice gesture just to let them know that you wish they could be there!
Thanks for the feedback guys.
The reason I'm wondering is because we've sent an email asking people for their mailing addresses so that we can send them an invite. Some have replied saying that they can't come (due to work because he's a teacher in England and can't travel during exam times or due to another wedding that they've already committed to or because they just had a baby and money is tight so they can't travel across the Atlantic to attend...). In all their replies they didn't include the mailing address which we've asked for...
Do we email back and insist on getting an address so we can mail them an invite? Sounds like most bees would think it's the right thing to do.
Yeah, I would just email them back and say something like, "I understand you probably won't be able to make it, but we would still at least like to extend you an invite, so if we could please get your address. Also, this will help when we send out holiday cards and birthday cards." That will usually get most people to shoot along their address.
I have ppl who have already told me that they can't come and they have told me to save the invite and not send it to them. Really it's pointless and a waste of time and money to send the invitation if they know they won't go!
Well, I originally voted yes, but after reading your last post @Miss Panna Cotta, I'd like to change to "no". If these guests didn't provide their address, they are implicitly letting you "off the hook" about the invitation. Feel free to go ahead and send it to someone else (and know to not expect a gift from them).
@CaitlinRivera: In your situation, I agree with you. The guest you mentioned explicitly told you to save the invite (probably trying to be courteous & let you know that they won't be offended if they don't receive an invite). However, I think, unless the explicit instruction to "save the invite" is stated, the guest deserves the invite & opportunity to change his/her mind.
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So here's the question...
If someone already told you that they can't make it to your wedding, would you still send them an invitation?
Or...
If your friend's significant other already told you that they can't make it, would you still put their name on the invite.... just out of courtesy?
Thanks Bees!