Invitation Etiquette Question

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

My fiance and I are paying for everything.  We did not include, “Together with their families.”  I don’t think you have to include that in your situation.  You are hosting.  I think it is up to you and what you feel is appropriate.  Are you having the wedding in a church or a civil location?

Post # 3
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I don’t think you “have” to include anything, make them say what you want!  

FI and I are paying for everything ourselves but we’re still wording the invitations as though my mother is hosting (since I still see it as she’s hosting, we’re just paying).  We’re also putting “son of [parents names]” after FI’s name so both parents are on there, but only my mom is at the top.

The invitation wording police won’t come get you if you just word them the way you want and ignore any and all “rules” out there, I promise  :-)!  

 

Post # 5
Member
7216 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think your planned wording is fine. You can still acknowledge their help by thanking them during the speeches.

Post # 6
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We’re doing the same wording as you even though my mom also paid for my dress. We’re paying for everything else so I see it as we’re still hosting the event. Country club ceremony and reception as well. 

Post # 7
Member
2892 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

af123: I don’t think together with their families wording sounds young / in need of financial assistance at all. 

We’re paying for 100% of our wedding, down to covering rooms for our immediate families. We’re using together with our families wording as a signal of support from our families, not necessarily financial. Since we’re all spread out and only see each other a few days a year, it’s important for us to acknowledge how important their presence is.

That said, your original wording sounds lovely as well. 

Post # 8
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee

The clothes you wear and the accessories you carry (bouquets and corsages are accessories) are not part of “hosting” a wedding reception. They’re just clothes.

Even if parents were paying for catering, decor and venue rental; that would not constitute “hosting”. The hostess of a reception is the person who is putting her social reputation on the line in assurance to her guests that they will be taken care of, and who therefore has the final say on all matters related to the guests’ comfort, safety and entertainment. Who pays the cash involved in those decisions is something that polite people do not advertise — although it certainly can be used as “leverage” to influence the hostess’s decision, or even to “buy into” the role of co-hostess — so you are wise to take your parents’ feelings into account. You might want to check your invitation wording with them to make sure that they don’t take offense.

 

Post # 9
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

af123:  welcome to the bee!  We’re in our 30’s, my dad gifted us the wine, IL’s gifted us the cake, we hosted. We didn’t include our parents on the invites, but mostly because my mom had passed away and it felt sad to me. 

We ran it past our parents first though to make sure nobody would be upset, if it had been really important to anybody we would have figured out a way to make it work. 

Post # 10
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We are paying for a 100% of our wedding ourselves. We still have worded our invitations together with our families to acknowledge their love and support in our relationship. Like others posters said you can word your invitations as you please. Good luck with the rest of your Planning!

Post # 11
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’m firmly in the camp of “it’s your wedding, do what you want” … You’re never, ever going to please anyone and you may just kill yourself trying! If you don’t want to put “together with our families” or any line like that, don’t!

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