Invitation help, wording

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it an etiquette faux pas?
    Yes : (0 votes)
    No : (11 votes)
    100 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6510 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I think it sounds fine. It doesn’t seem like his parents were an afterthought to me.

    Post # 4
    Member
    681 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I believe the bride’s parents are usually first. “Together with” means equal to me.  

    Post # 5
    Member
    5295 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I had the same wording on my invitations with my parents names first

    Post # 6
    Member
    42538 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Show your parents some of the 8 million online examples of wedding invitations using the same wording.

    Post # 8
    Member
    723 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @minipenguin:  That’s the way we’re doing ours! As PP mentioned, many times the bride’s parents are listed first. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1649 posts
    Bumble bee

    @minipenguin:  “together with” is not the etiquette problem here. There are a couple of problems though.

    First, the most rigourous etiquette standard holds that invitations are issued by one lady only — the hostess, the person who actually is behind all the planning and who has both the right, and the responsibility, for the final decisions on everything that may affect the comfort, safety and entertainment of her guests — and optionally that lady’s spouse. It also holds that no lady is ever listed on social correspondence having her name paired up with a gentleman to whom she is not married.

    Of course, wedding-parents who do not know or do not care about the most rigourous etiquette standard, often see having their name on the invitations as an “honour” and would be hurt to be omitted, even if it does make the invitation look like a club event being held by an entire social committee. Since the overriding rule of etiquette is “be kind and thoughtful and do not cause dissention” rigourous etiquette should always be sacrificed in favour of not hurting your future mother-in-law.

    But, pairing her as “Mr and Mrs” with a person she has divorced is likely an etiquette faux pas that your future mother-in-law would NOT be in favour of. A more correct wording (still using the social-committe form and your “together with” wording) would be

    Mr. and Mrs. minipenguin’s parents
    together with
    Ms groom’s mother
    Mr groom’s father
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their children

    etcetera etcetera

     

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