(Closed) invitation in English! please will you review? update

posted 8 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

The first line should be “We’d” not “We”? 

Post # 5
Member
2859 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

There are no typos or spelling errors, but if I were you, I’d make a few changes so that the language flows a bit better.

I’d change “We like to share with you our happiness” to “We’d like to share our happiness with you.”

I’d also change “with dinner and dancing after to celebrate” to “followed by dinner and dancing to celebrate”

Other than that, they look great!

Post # 6
Member
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would change it to read:

We would like to share our happiness with you!

 

Join us for a night of romance and dreams!

 

Wish I could help you with the Spanish ones!

 

I had to make two different invitations as well:  one in English and one in Greek

 

Good luck!

 

Post # 7
Member
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

The wording doesn’t seem to flow quite right (but I love that you’re doing something non-traditional!)

 

What do you think of this? 

 

Desiree and Eduardo

We are getting married! 

We’d like to share our happiness with you! 

A night of romance and dreams.

[LOCATION]

Ceremony at 4:30 in the afternoon

With dinner, dancing and celebration to follow.

Post # 8
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Looks great!  I would just change ” We like to share with you our happiness” to “We would like to share with you our happiness”.

Post # 10
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

P.S I agree with changing the last part.  JeniRae’s wording has a better flow to it.  Gramtically you version is correct, but it doesn’t read as a native speaker.

Post # 13
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If you want to be formal you could use “we would” instead of “we’d”.  Another way to word it that I thought of is

Desiree and Eduardo

We are getting married!

Please share in our happiness

by joining us for

a night of romance and dreams

Saturday, July 31st, 2010

etc. 

We are date twins!  It’s going to be a great day…

Post # 14
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Magenta, in regards to your question about why you need to put the “would,” you need becaue it is like Spanish “me gustaría” and without the would it is like “yo quiero”.

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