Invitation list regret

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Last minute invitations
    Tacky - I'd feel second string : (23 votes)
    52 %
    I'd love a last minute invitation - why not? : (21 votes)
    48 %
  • Post # 3
    3948 posts
    Honey bee

    The people that matter the most will be there on that day. 10 less people wont make the day any less special. Enjoy it!

    Post # 4
    5935 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I probably would feel “second string” but if it’s good friends or family, I think they’d understand that you had the limit the list and now that there are openings, you’d like them to come.

    Post # 5
    805 posts
    Busy bee

    Wouldn’t bother me – I’m not so precious that I expect to be number 1 on everybody’s invite list!

    Post # 6
    6171 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    i’m almost in the same boat.  be careful what you wish for because you might just get it.  i wanted a small wedding.  FI has a huge family and lots of friends.  my side invited 50, he was able to limit his side to 85.  we’ve had 21 No’s so far.  but more than half are from my side. 

    we are not inviting any more people.

    do you have a minimum to meet.  if you do, then you can explain nicely to the people you are inviting at the last minute.  if not, just think of all the money you are saving by having 10  less people.

    Post # 7
    223 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I just recently went to a wedding where me and my FH were invited and then a couple weeks prior to the wedding the couple getting married extended an invite to my FH parents since they pretty much grew up together and they weren’t insulted even though they knew they got the invite because people dropped out. Some people undertsand the importance of having your closest friends and family at a wedding with limited space and can accept they didn’t make the initial cut like my Fiance’s parent’s and they were happy to get the invite even knowing that and they went but then you’ll have people who will be insulted so if you really want to invite others go ahead but you should never assume that everyone you invited will show up, it never works that way and so the people who DO really want to be there to support you will be there and that should be enough.




    I am afraid of that happening to me as well but if it does, it’s okay.




    Post # 8
    1233 posts
    Bumble bee

    Actually it depends on my relationship with the person. I would rarely be offended.  As long as they’re inviting me from bottom of their heart. 

    Edit: At 10 days away,  it seems a bit awkward. I guess it depends on your approach. It might be too late. If it was a work colleague, I would not be offended. Assuming no major travel will be involved. 

    Post # 9
    345 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Invite them! At my bffs wedding this past July she handed out invites to all of our book club members like 2 weeks before the wedding. No biggie.


    Post # 10
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

    @Mrs-Sept-2013:  It depends on your relationship with the people. If you know they won’t be offended, then invite them. This happened to a friend that had a very small list of people he could invite due to space restrictions – though they wanted a tiny wedding (talking about 35 here). While there are people he wanted to invite there were still others that had to be invited. He was happily able to invite another couple they are friends with who were ecstatic about getting invited and understood before hand. Others would be offended by it. So just choose wisely 🙂

    10 days is short notice though … It’ll turn out, though!

    Post # 11
    3344 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island

    You could always tell your parents and your future in-laws about the extra spaces.  I’m sure they would love to invite friends from work or something.

    If you’ve already paid for them, definitely invite more people.  If you haven’t paid for the extra spaces, then I’d probably just let it go unless there was someone I (or the parents) really want to invite.

    Post # 12
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think you should definitely invite them if you want them there… but not if you’re just doing it to fill up space. I think most people understand that venues has space limitations and that you had to limit your invites because of such. Now that you have space, you want to invite THEM! It’s still going to be a smaller wedding, so they’ll feel special.

    Post # 13
    351 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    We were recently invited verbally to a wedding the week of the wedding. FI and weren’t offended at all and were excited to go. The couple had several cancellations and we barely knew eachother at the time they sent out invites originally. Sadly, cancellations happen and I think it’s just part of the process.

    I think it’s up to you and like some people said, the relationships you have with people. I think it’s okay to invite people last minute but you are going to the best judge since you know your friends and family best 🙂

    If you already paid for the spaces and decide not to invite more people, I would see if your venue will allow you to upgrade some food or do something with the money.

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